


All The Stars

by moonlitwriter (ahopelessromantic)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Also with more season 3 elements, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternative Season 3, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby Fic, F/F, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, In this house we love Mon-El, Karamel endgame, Mon-El appreciation, Past Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Pregnancy, Pregnant Kara Danvers, This is a more detailed and hardcore version of my story Kismet, Unplanned Pregnancy, and his character development
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2019-06-01 07:06:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15137801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahopelessromantic/pseuds/moonlitwriter
Summary: Shortly after Mon-El is forced to leave Earth, leaving Kara heartbroken, she discovers that she’s pregnant with his child. To complicate matters, Mon-El eventually returns with a wife in tow and a dark Kryptonian emerges to terrorise National City.Will the two of them ever get their happy ending when the odds have always seemed stacked against them? Especially with a battle on the horizon and the stakes higher than ever?Season 3 Fix It with a HEA.EDIT: AO3 glitched and posted this 3x. Sorry about that! fixed it.





	1. Awake & Dreaming

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Kismet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14276403) by [moonlitwriter (ahopelessromantic)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahopelessromantic/pseuds/moonlitwriter). 



> Even though this is definitely taking the basic plot of Kismet, this story is going to be way more detailed and heavier on the angst than Kismet was. The burn will be somewhat slow but don't worry, not at a snail's pace!.
> 
> It's also serving as a fix-it for the hot mess that was the end of season 3. The second half of the season is basically going into the bin here. 
> 
> For future sneak peeks, writing updates and deleted scenes, please follow me at supervalor.tumblr.com.
> 
>  
> 
> Note: By the way, flame me all you want but you'll just get deleted because I have comment moderation on. And I'm not bothered by bullies. Also if you don't want to see a Karamel tagged fic in with the Alex ships then download the really nifty add-on that will block them from coming up with the others. What you don't do is write a comment to wail about my use of the tags. I tagged it Alex/Sam because they are endgame in this fic and will also make up a good chunk of the storyline. Also you don't see me going into fics that have been tagged Karamel but are clearly anti Mon-El and Supercorp to tell people to stop fecking tagging it as Karamel, do you? Nope. I blocked the Supercorp tag entirely.

Chapter One

Kara floated in the sky with her eyes closed, her ears carefully peeled for the sounds of cries for help or sirens blaring in the busy traffic of National City.

Soothed by the warm night air and the distant sounds coming from far below, Kara found herself dozing off without realising. Images filled her mind and she found herself standing in a beautiful, green field with Saturn hovering in the sky overheard. It was a beautiful scenery and she suddenly forgot everything that she had left behind on Earth as she reached out to touch the long golden grains of wheat that swayed in the soft breeze amongst the strands of grass beside her.

Suddenly warm breath on her neck caused her to still and she slowly turned and gazed up into Mon-El’s loving, warmth filled eyes as he smiled at her. Her breath caught as she wondered how he was here with her…and then she wondered why she was questioning it instead of savouring his presence. It didn’t matter that he looked different than when she saw him last. Kara knew it was really him somehow. When he leaned in an inch closer to her, Kara couldn’t help but move towards him, closing the last remaining bit of space between them. 

He stroked her face and his eyes hungrily drunk her in as if he was a thirsty man stuck in the desert that had found a drink of water for the first time in months. Kara’s eyes latched onto his lips, hoping that he would kiss her. It had been far too long…over a month for her, since she had felt those lips against hers. It had been a long lonely month and she wanted nothing more for Mon-El…real or fake, to kiss her. Mon-El didn’t disappoint. He pressed his lips against hers and she immediately latched on, her own mouth moving in time with his as if they were dancing a tango.

With his hands around her waist and Kara’s locked on his shoulders, she didn’t imagine that there was any place in the universe that she would rather be right now. She was home. When he eventually pulled away, he pressed his head against hers as if he couldn’t bare for there to be even a single inch of distance between them and smiled at her, his eyes filled with promise as they searched her blue ones. Where this was, it was paradise and she never wanted to leave.

Suddenly something caught her attention from the corner of her eye and both of them looked up to see a person in front of them in the distance…a woman in a blue dress. Kara’s attention was immediately diverted from Mon-El and she dropped her hold on him to walk towards the woman, her heart hammering in her chest. It couldn’t be…it was impossible. She walked forwards and then the woman turned around causing Kara to walk on in a daze, shock all over her face. The dark haired woman, there was no mistaking it for anyone else, it was her mother.

Her mother smiled at her warmly as she got close and suddenly Kara wasn’t sure what to do. She looked behind her to see Mon-El also smiling as though he was getting to watch a long awaited reunion. She stared at him for a moment before turning back to her mother who was still smiling at her daughter as though she had been waiting a long time to see her…and maybe she had. Kara held her mother’s head in her hands so that she could inspect that she was really real, her eyes filling with emotion and longing as she realised that the woman was really her mother and she was touching her, not just a mere hologram or AI of her created by the DEO.

Kara put her arms around her mother to hug her, closing her eyes as she felt her embrace her back right away. She had missed her so much. She couldn’t believe that she was seeing her now. Whatever was happening didn’t matter. She was with two of the people that she loved most in the world and missed with her whole heart. If she had somehow died and gone into the light of Rao then that was completely fine with her.

She felt Mon-El approach from behind her and suddenly it was like she was being yanked back to reality.

Kara opened her eyes and realised with disappointment that she had been dreaming. She was in her Supergirl uniform floating mid-air and listening to the traffic and the sounds of the city around her. Kara had been waiting for innocent people to need her help so that she could save them and keep busy, pretending like her heart wasn’t shattered into a million pieces.

At the sound of hearing a police chase going on downtown, Kara flew from the sky and went after the truck that carried the armed criminals away from the cars that hunted them down. She quickly dispersed them of their weapons, stopped the truck from hitting innocent drivers and then left them for the police – Maggie, who was with Alex - to arrest before going on to her next save, not even catching her breath or stopping to talk to her sister or her fiancé.

The next few days consisted of Alex trying to track her down and convince her to get more involved in the wedding planning but Kara couldn’t muster up even a little bit of energy to pretend to be interested. She was glad that her sister was happy but no matter how hard she tried, Kara couldn’t bring herself to feel any happiness for her sister. Why would she want to help plan a wedding when she was trying her best to ignore the hurt of losing the man she loved? Supergirl had no time to stop and grieve for what she had lost, not when the world needed her and Alex’s wedding...well it would force her to face things she’d really rather not.

Everyone from Alex and Winn to James and Lena were trying to reach out to her but Kara Danvers…well she was liability. Kara Danvers could no longer truly exist outside of Supergirl. She was the side of Kara that would have tempted her to risk the world for the person she loved and she wasn’t human enough to be willing to make that kind of sacrifice for one person, no matter how much she loved them. Clark was more human than she was, not willing to choose Lois over the world. But Kara had done what needed to be done and had accepted that her human side was something that would only get in the way of being a hero.

Eventually Alex grew tired of Kara’s distance and confronted her after she heard from James that Kara had quit Catco in her latest attempt to give up on her humanity. “You quit?!” She demanded after storming in Kara’s apartment while she was working on her laptop with a cup of coffee beside it at the table.

She looked up at her sister expressionless. “James has been making the rounds”, she stated flatly.

“He’s worried about you. I’m extremely worried about you.  Since when do you quit?!”

“Catco isn’t the point for me anymore”, Kara responded causing Alex to stare at her incredulously.

“You spent years working your way up to be a reporter!”

“And it was a waste of time”, Kara sipped her tea nonchalantly as though quitting her job out of nowhere was not a big deal.

Alex scoffed. “I would love to see you tell Cat Grant that”.

“Cat moved on, why can’t I?”

“Okay. This is done”, her sister shook her head in disgust and walked past Kara further into the apartment. “I am done walking on eggshells”, she declared as someone who had run out of patience. “Okay, we all are!” Kara huffed and covered her face with her hands as though this entire conversation was boring her. “I’ve kept my distance. I have given you time to grieve without prodding, without making you talk about Mon-El-“

The minute his name was mentioned it was as though a switch was flipped and Kara immediately spun around, her temper flaring. “There’s nothing to talk about!” she snapped, hoping that Alex would drop the subject. The last thing she wanted to talk to anyone about was Mon-El. Even just thinking of his name caused a stabbing pain to hit her in the chest. She didn’t want to feel that right now.

“Without forcing you to go to game nights”, Alex continued as though her sister hadn’t interrupted and Kara glared at her. “Or come to the bar”.

“There was a burglary”, she retorted in disbelief.

Alex didn’t accept the excuse for a minute. “There’s always a burglary!” Kara fell silent, her eyes mutinous. “But I have let it slide. You’re pity party has gone uninterrupted”.

The blonde Danvers looked at her older sister as though she had been slapped. “My pity party? My _pity party_?”

“Who are you right now?” Alex demanded accusingly. “Kara Danvers doesn’t quit”.

“She quits the things that aren’t important”, Kara stood up and headed over to the fridge with Alex following right behind her.

“Catco _is_ important, you help people there”.

“Not like Supergirl does”, Kara reached into the fridge just for something to do.

“Kara Danvers-“

She spun around, slamming the fridge door shut and cut Alex off before she could get going. “Kara Danvers SUCKS right now!” Kara felt her voice break and wondered if her sister had caught it. She ignored it and continued. “Supergirl is great! Supergirl saved the world! So if I could chose to be her, why would I ever chose to be the sad girl whose boyfriend is gone? I don’t like that girl Alex”.

Alex’s pitying expression only made her angrier. “Look I know it hurts-“

Kara recoiled when she tried to step forwards to hug her. “No! You don’t know anything! You’ve never had to make a decision like this!”

“Okay then tell me what it feels like? Please?!”

She looked away not wanting to see the hurt in Alex’s eyes, not when she was hurting more than she ever could right now. The last thing Kara needed was to make Alex feel better by suffering through the pain for no reason when she knew that nothing would ever make it better for her. No amount of words would ever or could ever make Alex understand right now. Her stomach lurched and Kara knew that she needed to put an end to this conversation before she felt worst.

“Just let me help you get over him!”

Kara’s gaze snapped up at Alex’s words, her nausea suddenly forgotten as her frustration rose up again and overshadowed everything else. “Get over him?”

Alex seemed to realise her mistake right away as she winced. “That’s not-“

“He didn’t dump me”, Kara pointed out coolly. “I sent him away and for all I know he’s-“just the thought of Mon-El possibly being lost forever or worse made her want to be sick again.

“What?”

“Doesn’t matter”, Kara walked away, deciding that now was the time to put an end to this conversation once and for all. She wasn’t doing this to herself and she wouldn’t allow Alex to force her.

“You’re not letting yourself feel anything”, Alex said as Kara busied her hands by putting things back away in her fridge. “You’re just bottling it up inside and making bad decisions. And I’m worried-“

She had heard enough. “If it was Maggie what would you be doing?” she bit out, turning around to face Alex again. “If the woman you are about to marry was gone forever, what would you be doing?”

Alex looked away and tried to stammer out an answer. “I-“

“You would be at the bar every night” Kara finished for her coldly. “You’d be a wreck at work.  You’d be broken”. Alex stared at her sister, tears gleaming in her brown eyes.

“I would”, she agreed nodding. “I would be. And it’s okay if you are”.

“I’m not”. Kara stared emotionlessly at her sister. “That’s what humans do and I’m better than that”. She moved away from her sister and began to clear up her dining table. “Clark said it himself. The decision I made, he couldn’t have made that sacrifice”. She was sure Clark had meant to be complimenting her or trying to make her feel better but his words had cut her in a way that she kept trying to ignore. Hence why she was trying to get Alex to drop the subject. She could feel her barriers breaking with each word and she needed them to stay together. It was vital that they held up and kept everyone at bay before it was too late. “But me? I couldn’t have lived with myself if I hadn’t. I will always make the decision I made. I am not a human.  I tried to be but I’m not. Kara Danvers was a mistake”.

Alex looked at her sister, distraught. She couldn’t really think that, could she?

“So if you have an update about work I’d love to hear it” Kara continued as though the last few minutes and conversation had never even happened. “Otherwise…” which was a clear dismissal when Alex heard one.

Alex coolly obliged her sister and gave her an update regarding Bloodsport. Before she left, however, she turned and shot some parting words at her, hoping that they would sink in. “Kara Danvers is my favourite person. She’s saved me more times than Supergirl ever could so just think about that while you’re trying to get rid of her”.

As she tried to ignore her sister walking out the door, Kara felt her stomach stir again as though she wanted to be sick. She wasn’t sure if it was that entire conversation or just Alex’s parting shot but she suddenly felt like she needed to lie down for a while.

* * *

 

The next morning Kara actually managed to wake up before her alarm went off. Her stomach suddenly lurched and she felt like she was really going to be sick this time. She tried to super speed but that made it worse and as soon as she made it to the toilet the entire contents of the previous night’s dinner came back up. She stared at the sick as it floated around the toilet in shock and horror. She had actually been sick. Kara had never been physically sick before besides from the time she burnt out her powers and was human for a day.

“Okay now is not the time to lose my powers”, she told herself firmly as if that would prevent that from happening.

As if she had a choice.

Kara tried to push back the panic and ignore it. She had to have control or else everything would fall apart. Everything. The Supergirl statue unveiling was today and she had to be there to make sure that no nukes went off and killed everybody. If she lost her powers she would be completely useless and then she’d be forced to face what Alex had tried to shove right at her last night. Kara wasn’t prepared for that. Not yet.

After a few minutes, her stomach settled and she felt better. By now Kara had convinced herself that the whole being sick thing was a fluke and was due to stress. She had been feeling ill the night before but that was also down to stress. Alex confronting her with that entire conversation had caused her to be physically sick with anxiety. That had to be it. Kara deliberately ignored the fact that it was probably extremely unlikely for her body – even at its most stressed – to exhibit such physical symptoms.

She pushed the entire episode out of her mind and dressed in her Supergirl costume, meeting J’onn on a rooftop close by to the unveiling. Kara personally really didn’t need or want a statue of herself but she supposed it was better than the time everyone hated her for a while.  Kara allowed J’onn to begin talking to her and then she found that it was impossible to keep her carefully built walls up. When he told her that she was ‘the strongest person he knew’ her walls were quick to crumble. “You saved me, remember. Kara Danvers, not Supergirl”, he told her reminding her of a time when he was still mourning his own losses. It was impossible to argue with J’onn like she had with Alex knowing that he actually did understand what she had gone through.

However their conversation was interrupted when everything went to hell within seconds. The nuke began to go off and an Earthquake like movement began tearing the ground apart, creating chaos amongst the crowd that had come to watch the unveiling. Quickly Kara began to search for the nuke and when she realised that it was underwater, she wasted no time in going under. However the nuke had been cloaked pretty deeply under and she was still trying to listen for it when she began to run out of air. Her eyes shut as she began to lose consciousness and she wondered maybe if she slept now she would finally be reunited with Mon-El.

His face flashed in front of her eyes but it wasn’t the serene, peaceful smile he had been showing to her in her dreams. He looked serious and grim faced. “Wake up!” he yelled at her and Kara’s eyes immediately flung open as she remembered that she was under the water.  She finally managed to track the nuke and she quickly carried it from under the river and flew it up into the air, away from where it would hurt thousands of civilians.

After it was done, Kara felt the world around her suddenly begin to spin. She felt dizzy and was alarmed when she began to fall.  Rao, I’m losing my powers, what’s happening? She wondered as she panicked but was too faint, too tired to do anything. Luckily J’onn realised that she was falling and flew up in his Martian form to catch her and flew her back to the DEO unconscious.

“What happened to her?” Alex questioned, panicked filling her voice. It didn’t matter that she and Kara had argued, all she cared about was her sister’s health.

“I’m not sure. She was fine one minute and then the next she fell from the sky like she’d just fainted”, J’onn told her as Alex began to grab various bits of alien based medical equipment to use on her sister.

“I need to check how much sunlight her body’s absorbing”, Alex rushed out as she used what looked like a small scanner someone would use in a Wal-Mart and scanned it over Kara’s body. “That’s strange, the readings are completely normal. Her body’s absorbed the usual amount of sun so she should be in perfect health. Kryptonians don’t get sick, not unless something is interfering with their powers but Kara’s powers are fine as far as I can tell”.

“Why’d she faint though?” Winn asked as he strode into the room with a tablet in hand. “I saw the entire thing from the cameras. She did not look good”.

“I’ll have to do a blood test”, Alex sighed. “But I don’t know how to safely draw blood without using Kryptonite”.

“You don’t need to”, Winn smirked smugly. “I created a synthetic red solar powered lamp for emergencies such as these. Red sunlight should make her powerless and you’ll be able to prick her skin for blood”.

“Bring it here then”, J’onn commanded and Winn quickly scattered under orders. He returned shortly with a small machine on wheels that he pushed into the room and placed beside Kara’s bed. He pulled up a screen and when he turned the machine on, the screen lit up red and cast a glow over Kara.

“You should be able to take some blood now”.

Alex grabbed a syringe and as soon as she injected it into Kara’s arm, the Kryptonian woke up in alarm. “What the hell is going on? Ow, what is that?!”

“You fainted and that’s not normal so Alex is running some tests. We’re just taking a bit of blood”, Winn explained hastily before Kara could completely freak out.

Her eyes widened in bewilderment and surprise. “I fainted?!”

“I’ve got it”, Alex took out the syringe and immediately exited the room to presumably go into the lab that she and Winn shared.

“I’ll go help her”, Winn disappeared out of the room and left J’onn and Kara alone.

“Have you been having any other symptoms?”

For a minute, Kara was tempted to lie but she knew that would be completely pointless considering that they already knew something was wrong. “I felt sick last night but thought it was just stress. Then I was sick this morning before I left but I fooled myself that it was just anxiety making me throw up”.

J’onn’s eyebrows shot up incredulously.

A few minutes later, Alex came back into the room with a frown on her face and a test tube full of her blood. “There’s something wrong but I’m going to need to take a scan to be able to say for sure”.

Winn followed her in a minute after with an ultrasound machine.

“Is this necessary?” Kara sighed.

“If this is what I think it is then yes”, Alex snapped as she turned on the ultrasound and proceeded to put the probe up Kara’s private parts after shoving her skirt up and her underwear down. J’onn and Winn both turned around to give her privacy at this point. When the picture on the screen became clear, Alex’s mouth dropped open. Winn and J’onn, now looking at the screen, both squinted.

Alarm bells began to ring in Kara’s head at her sister’s shocked face. “What’s going on? Why do you look like that? Alex?”

“Wait, is that what I think it is?” Winn stared as his face drained of colour.

“That’s impossible”, J’onn frowned.

“What in Rao’s name is going on?” Kara bellowed, already sick of being the only one not to know what was wrong with her.

Alex snapped out of her shock and turned to look at her sister anxiously. “I don’t know how to tell you this Kara, especially with everything being so fresh but…you’re pregnant”.

She heard the words but they didn’t compute. “What?” she furrowed her brows, sure that she had misheard her sister.

“You’re pregnant, Kara. About seven weeks along”.

“No”, Kara laughed nervously. “I can’t be. I just can’t”.

“Well you are”, Winn rubbed his neck as he pointed at the screen. “See that jelly bean shape right there? That’s a baby, Kara. Your baby”.

“How…but…I was on birth control. Mon-El was…he didn’t…We never” she rambled, unable to process the fact that she was pregnant. She was really pregnant.

“Are you trying to say you never had sex? I know that’s a lie since I walked in on the two of you”, Alex pointed out, folding her arms. “And that birth control was never one hundred percent effective for you. You’re not a human and they’ve yet to make Kryptonian birth control”.

There was silence for a moment before Kara suddenly burst out giggling hysterically. The rest of the people in the room looked at each other concerned for her mental state. “I’m pregnant and Mon-El is floating around in space”, she cackled. “I’m going to have his baby while somewhere he’s asleep in my old pod while meteorites pass him by. This is brilliant”. She swore that she had laughed so hard she had a stitch in her side. “He doesn’t even know. He won’t ever know”.

Tears began to well up in her eyes as her laughter quickly turned to sobs. Sobs that she had not allowed to slip out since she’d seen him off in her pod. “I lost the man I love but now I’m pregnant and I’m alone”.

“You’re not alone”, Alex quickly wrapped her arms around her distraught sister, cradling her like she was her own child. “I’m here. J’onn’s here. Winn and James are here. Our mom’s here. I know Clark will come if you call him. You are not alone, alright? We’ll get you through this”.

Kara hugged her sister back as though her life depended on it.

Eventually her tears began to fade and she started to calm down. She knew now that she couldn’t keep on ignoring her heartbreak over Mon-El and that pretending that Kara Danvers was nothing had been a futile idea.

 Eventually Kara left the DEO and returned to her flat to change since there were people she needed to talk and apologise to, namely James and Lena. She’d ask for her job back and take the first step into accepting that Supergirl wasn’t all that she was. Especially now that she was going to be a mother, a thought that would probably never seem not strange and foreign to her.


	2. State of Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Psi shows up and makes Kara confront her grief over Mon-El.

**Chapter Two**

After a long talk with Lena and a quick chat with James, Kara had been offered her job back at Catco. She’d returned to her apartment relieved that her job was still hers but anxious at how she was supposed to balance being a reporter, a superhero and in time, a mom. She remembered Alex’s reassurance that she wasn’t alone and she had people that would help her which made the anxiety dim a little.

 On her way back to the apartment, Alex had rung and informed her that the group was going to the bar that night to celebrate her engagement and she was welcomed to join them if she was up for it. Kara’s first instinct was to avoid but she didn’t want to disappoint her sister. Before making a decision one way or another, the blonde decided that it was time to confront her ghosts, mainly Mon-El.

That was how she found herself sitting on her sofa with a roll of pictures taken of her and Mon-El in the booth at the bar months ago. Her eyes locked onto her past self and felt envious of the sheer happiness and love that shone through her blue eyes. Kara remembered how she had felt then with Mon-El’s arms around her. It had been the careless kind of happiness that she had always seen but never experienced for herself until Mon-El. Her heart hurt as she looked at the loved up expression on his face and her thumb stroked over his picture as if her touch could make him suddenly appear for real.

“You would have been such a good father”, Kara told the picture softly as though he could hear her. She began picturing Mon-El running after a little boy who looked just like him and felt a pang of longing for what could have been if she hadn’t chosen to put the rest of the world before her own happiness…and Mon-El’s safety. “Why couldn’t things be different?” she questioned as her eyes shone with tears.

As she stared at the photograph, Kara realised that she had two options. Either she could stay there and cry over Mon-El forever or she could join the others at the bar and begin living again. Sitting around and moping over what she couldn’t change was not going to help her situation, nor would it make a good life for her baby and the others, they were still here and waiting for her. Mon-El, as much as she missed him, wasn’t and she couldn’t do this alone.

With a sad, wistful smile, Kara put the photograph away in the box of things that she had pulled out to remember him by. She quickly changed out of her comfortable clothes into something more suitable for the bar before flying over. When she walked into the bar, her eyes roamed the room until she spotted her friends and Alex sitting at a large table near the back. Taking a deep breath, Kara walked over to them and immediately her sister pulled her into a hug upon seeing her.

“I’m so glad that you came”, she whispered into her ear before pulling away and allowing the others to greet her with grins and cheers. As the group descended into conversation, Kara felt lighter than she had in a long time. Maybe she would never be like Clark or the others who would never be able to make the kind of sacrifices she had made but she was still Kara Danvers and she still had her family. She wasn’t going to spend any more time distancing herself because it hurt less.

 

* * *

 

“Hi Clark, I’m glad you picked up”.

The next morning found Kara sitting alone at her kitchen table with her cell phone held against her ear. She had already phoned Eliza the night before when she got home from the bar and told her about the baby. Now she wanted to ring her cousin and fill him in as she didn’t want him to be the completely last person to know.

“Kara, hey, how are you doing?” Clark’s voice was full of concern for her. Alex had been keeping him to up to date on how she was handling things and she knew her sister must have told him how she’d been behaving recently. “I saw what you did yesterday. Great job getting rid of that nuke”.

Kara’s stomach swirled as she felt what she now knew to be morning sickness flare up. She had already puked up three times already. Now she’d just eaten some cereal for her breakfast and she wanted to throw it back up again. Morning sickness sucked. “Thanks cous. I’m actually calling you because there’s something that I need to tell you. And it’s big, like really big”.

“What’s going on?” She pictured Clark’s frown as he tried to make his best guesses as to what was up with her. She knew none of them would probably be even remotely close.

“I found something out yesterday. I don’t know if you saw me faint after I got rid of the nuke but-“

“You fainted?!” Kara could clearly hear the alarm in his voice.

“Yeah. Well at least the news didn’t get to capture that, thank goodness. Anyway J’onn took me back to the DEO and they ran some tests and well…well it turns out that I’m pregnant”.

There was silence from the end of line as her cousin digested her news. “Is it Mon-El’s?” he asked finally.  Kara rolled her eyes so hard that they almost got stuck in her skull.

“Well considering there’s been no one else…yes”.

“Do you want me to come down? I can go pack some things and come stay with you for a while”.

“I’m fine. You should stay with Lois and keep guard over Metropolis. They need you more than I do. Alex will keep watch over me, don’t worry”.

“You better call me if you need anything or if you change your mind”, Clark ordered in his Superman voice, making her smirk slightly.

“I’ll call. Give Lois my love”.

After hanging up, Kara ran to the toilet and threw up the contents of her breakfast, resigning herself to the fact that she probably wasn’t going to be able to eat much outside of crackers and dry biscuits for her breakfast for the foreseeable future.

 

* * *

 

After finally managing to get something down her that wouldn’t – hopefully – come back up, Kara dressed for the day in a smart blouse and trousers, something that she probably wouldn’t be able to keep wearing for much longer. Pushing the thought out her mind, she put her blonde hair up into a professional bun before lifting her bed up to pull out a pair of comfortable shoes. As she did, Kara’s eyes landed on a copy of Romeo and Juliet that she didn’t remember buying.

Frowning, she put the shoes to one side and picked up the copy of Romeo and Juliet to flick through it. Her heart stopped when she looked at the notes written across the margins and recognised the familiar handwriting as Mon-El’s.  He’d annotated and written notes across most of the pages but her eyes stopped when they saw her name written in capital letters with a circle around one of the lines: _the brightness of her cheek would shame those stars_.

Kara took a deep breath and forced herself to close the book. She didn’t have time to lose herself in memories and pushed the book back under her bed where she had found it. Sliding on her shoes, she walked out of the apartment and locked the door, determined to put all her energy into work and Supergirl.

On her way to work, Kara quickly stopped off to buy Lena a ‘welcome to Catco’ gift in the form of a smart, black leather organiser. She owed her friend that much after she had distanced herself so much from her and everybody over the last month or so. When she arrived in the office, she spotted James already in the editor’s office frowning at Lena. “Lena!” she called her new boss’s name and interrupted whatever conversation the two had been in the middle of. “Welcome to Catco!” she handed her the organiser with a warm smile.

A dimple creasing smile broke out on the pretty CEO’s face. “You didn’t have to do that”.

“It’s a Danvers family tradition. First day of school you get a planner”, Kara gestured to the organiser.

“Well it’s lovely. In the Luthor house on the first day we would hire a private investigator to make sure our teacher’s credentials were up to date”.

Both Kara and James forced out an awkward laugh at that little snippet of Lena’s childhood.

The tall man shot a small frown in her direction as he turned to her. “So Kara you knew that Ms Luthor would be here today?”

“Yes, she texted me this morning”.

James glanced at both women in surprise. Clearly he hadn’t received a text, Kara noticed and wondered why he seemed to have a problem with Lena’s presence.

Lena shot him an apologetic look. “I should have communicated more clearly, Mr Olsen. I’m sorry it won’t happen again”.

After James and Lena began a discussion on where she would work – somehow Kara didn’t think it was the lack of office space that was her friend’s real issue here – her phone began to beep, catching her attention. She wondered if it was the DEO and immediately turned to look at just as Lena began to speak to her.

“Kara, do you think you could get me the dossier on the Edge investigation, please?”

“Err, there’s actually something I have to deal with. Can I get it for you later, is that okay?”

Lena seemed taken aback by the question but said “sure, sure, yeah”.

“Sorry”, she apologised as she began to scurry out of the office, leaving the two alone once again. Kara quickly went home and changed into her Supergirl outfit before flying off to the DEO where everyone was already gathered, including Maggie. “What was the general alert for?” Kara questioned as she strode towards the main control panel.

Winn frowned at her sudden appearance. “Wait you get the general alerts? That just for the analysts I think”.

“I had them add me to the distro list”. Alex glared at her sister pointedly. “I want to know what’s going on with the city at all times”.

“Detective Sawyer brought this in this morning, Mr Schott?” J’onn turned to Winn.

“Yeah, well, we analysts thought we might be able to see something the cops didn’t”.

“She hit two banks back-to-back”, Maggie informed Kara.

“Where are the guards?”

“Unconscious on the floor”, Alex answered as they watched the screen with the CCTV footage playing from the bank robbery.

“Any leads on how she took them out?”

“Oh we thought it might be gas”, Winn started before Maggie finished his sentence.

“But toxicity came back negative”.

J’onn added, “According to reports, she walked right in the front door. No weapons of any kind. Everyone just cleared out of her way and let her take whatever she wanted”.

Suddenly Winn stood up and moved to the computers. “Woah, we’ve got a silent alarm tripped at 25 and Cedar”.

Kara glared at the footage that played out on the screen. “Looks like that’s our new friend”. She took off at full super speed without bothering to wait for back up since the woman looked mostly harmless and anything she could do, probably wouldn’t affect Kara since she wasn’t human.

As soon as she arrived in the bank vault, Kara knew that the blonde woman had sensed her. “I’ve got you cornered”, she warned in case the blonde thought to try anything.

“Do you?” she retorted coldly and continued to slip money into her bag.

Kara frowned at the woman’s self-assurance and stepped forward. “What did you do to them up there?” she wondered what the woman could do that made her feel like she stood a chance against Supergirl.

The woman turned to look at her with an affronted look. “I only wanted to play but they didn’t want to play with me”.

“Well you’re not getting away with it”.

“Oh”, the woman smiled condescendingly as though Kara was just a silly little girl. “You think you’re the cat and I’m the bird”. Kara watched with disbelief as the woman zipped up the bag full of money. “You got it backwards. You could join me. Maybe then you’d be happy”.

Kara did not like the knowing look on the woman’s face. Her stomach stirred with nausea but she fought to keep it from showing on her face.

“You see money equals happiness”, the blonde continued, thankfully oblivious to Kara’s sudden desire to throw up. She wanted to curse at herself for the crappy timing of her pregnancy symptom. “More money, more happiness”.

“Your priorities are seriously out of whack”, Kara returned, ignoring the voice in her head that whispered ‘hypocrite’.

“Huh, I know right?” The meta-human snorted out a laugh.

Kara didn’t really see what was so funny. “Put the bag down”, she ordered, wiping the smile from the woman’s face. She sighed before staring at Kara with a look of hard concentration.

As she stepped forwards and continued glaring at her, Kara suddenly felt like her entire world had been knocked sideways. She almost fell back as she suddenly found her surroundings morph and change until she was in a lab with a tray of medical equipment placed out in front of her. Kara suddenly found it hard to breathe as she stepped backwards into the bank lockers and the scene began to change again so that she was now floating in space. She saw the sun slowly edging towards her in her peripheral vision and felt her head began to drip with sweat that she normally didn’t produce. She felt struck with terror and her hands fell to her stomach protectively.

Kara was stuck in that state until she suddenly came out of it gasping as she slid to the floor as Maggie stormed in, dressed in her police uniform and ran towards her with a worried look on her face.

“It’s okay, it’s okay”, she cooed to Kara as she struggled to catch her breath, suffering what most people would call an anxiety attack. When she had calmed down, she shakily allowed Maggie to escort her back to the DEO where her sister almost immediately dragged her off to the med bay for a check-up. For once in her life, Kara didn’t complain or protest which was another sign to Alex that her sister wasn’t okay.

Kara sat on a bed as Alex got a scanner and began to run it over her sister’s body. She would have to do an ultrasound to make sure that her baby was one hundred percent okay but a scan would suffice for now. “You’re vitals are coming up normal”, Winn told them as he looked at the results on his tablet.

“What about the baby? Is the baby okay?” That was all Kara cared about. She felt fine but what did she know about being pregnant?

“From what I can tell everything looks fine but you’ll have to let Alex give you another ultrasound later”, Winn assured and patted her lightly on the shoulder.

“None of the human victims remember what happened in there. Do you?” Maggie questioned her.

“I don’t know. I felt like the walls of the vault were closing in on me”, and she had felt terrified, more than she had ever felt in her life but she kept that thought to herself. “It was like I was suffocating”.

Alex looked at her with concern. “Sounds like she made you feel claustrophobic”.

“Claustrophobia is a human problem”, Kara retorted dismissively.

“You used to have episodes like that all the time when you first came to Earth”.

Kara wouldn’t hear of it. She wasn’t weak, she could defend herself and her unborn child. She was stronger than a human or the fragile child that had first landed on a strange planet. “That was a long time ago. We need to figure out who she is and how we track”. She almost walked right into J’onn after getting off the bed, heading towards the door. He blocked her way.

“Well at the moment you’re our best clue”.

J’onn’s eyes flashed red as he stared at Kara.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked as she recalled that J’onn wasn’t supposed to be capable of reading a Kryptonian mind.

Winn voiced the same thought out loud. “Wait, I thought you couldn’t read Kryptonian minds?”

“I can’t but I can scan her mind for residual psychic activity”.

 “Just remind me to get you a world’s best boss mug”, the tech guy quipped.

“She’s definitely a psychic but she’s not like me. There are traces of a particular type of psionic interference in your mind, the type only used by metahumans”.

“Okay well I’ll start combing through the metahuman database”, Winn volunteered and left the room.

“In the meantime I’ll start monitoring potential targets for unusual activity”, J’onn said as Kara turned her back on the room and began walking out.

She stopped and leant against the doorway. “If we locate her, I’ll take her down”.

Alex stared at her incredulously “It’s not safe”. She looked pointedly at Kara’s belly but the blonde ignored the look. She knew what she was getting into and the baby was perfectly okay after the blonde’s attack. There was no way she was staying out of it.

“She caught me off guard last time.  It’s not going to happen again”, Kara stated firmly before walking away before anyone could try to argue with her further.

 

* * *

 

After leaving the DEO, Kara went home to quickly change back into her work clothes before flying back to Catco. As she stepped out of the elevator, she ran into James and surprised him with that she was running late for a meeting that Lena had called and he had known nothing about. It was after he had admitted that Lena hadn’t told him about this meeting that the woman in question showed up.

“Kara, there you are”, she greeted with a large smile as the dark blonde reporter immediately began to whistle off apologies, realising that she had missed the meeting.

James shot Lena an accusing look. “Was it a good meeting, was it good?”

The woman smiled innocently. “Yeah I was just going around to all the departments giving them a little pep talk”, she then turned to Kara. “I really missed you there”.

Right at that second Kara’s phone began to go off. “Shoot!” she scrambled to grab it out of her bag. “I have to take this”, she walked away with the phone pressed to her ear, oblivious to the look that Lena was giving her. As she got into the elevator she listened as Winn filled her in on the psychic’s location. Kara quickly changed into her Supergirl gear before flying off to the basement parking lot where she found her with a bag in hand. As soon as the woman spotted her, she dropped the bag.

While she confronted the metahuman, J’onn tried to read her mind but ended up on the other end of the mental assault and leaving Kara vulnerable to her attacks. Immediately Kara found herself on the ground with visions of her mother sending her away from Krypton filling her vision as she trembled against the concrete floor.

Just as she found herself staring out of her pod, once again heading towards the sun, Alex’s voice pulled her out of it. “Supergirl!” she rolled over and awoke with a gasp, her hands on her chest as it raced faster than the Flash.

 Realising that the criminal had vanished while she was incapacitated, she forced herself back to the DEO where Alex had threatened her with more scans and an actual ultrasound this time.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t hold her off”, J’onn said to her as he joined her at the main control table with Alex on her other side. “She’s more powerful than any psychic I’ve ever encountered”.

“What happened this time?” Alex wanted to know. This woman had to be powerful if she had gotten the best of Kara for a second time and Alex didn’t like the thought of that one bit.

“It was the same as before”, she lied as her sister stared at her as though she could see right through her. She probably could. She always did seem to know when Kara was lying to her or to herself.

“I’ve got our girl!” Kara had never been so grateful for Winn than in that moment when he interrupted with his trusty tablet in hand. "Gayle Marsh, law abiding citizen of Skokie, Illinois until one day she snapped and went on a bank robbing spree”.

J’onn moved close to the screen as Winn used the tablet to load the information on Gayle so that everyone could see it. “Uh let’s see…the authorities nicknamed her “Psi” after a string of psychologically-enhanced robberies which ravaged a series of small town banks throughout the midwest a couple of months ago”.

After Winn offered to adapt their psychic dampening technology as a tool to stop Gayle and Alex decided to check if there were any more witness reports at the precinct, Kara dragged Winn to one of the empty training rooms to talk. “This is very covert ops”, he commented as she shut the door so that they would have complete privacy. “What’s up?”

“I know how she’s doing it”, Kara blurted out. “I felt her this time, she’s targeting people’s fear”.

Her friend looked at her confused. “How…how do you know that?”

Kara glanced down for a moment before she confessed to Winn what she hadn’t even told Alex. “I saw my mother. I saw…Krypton…explode”, her voice broke as she relived the memories. “I relived my last moments there. And then being stuck floating through space for so long knowing I could never have my life back. Psi put me back in that pod… completely trapped and alone, it was so quiet. Silence was the worst part. I felt completely cut off from everyone and everything I’ve ever known”.

There was a moment of quiet as though Kara had just begun to realise that she was spilling her heart to her best friend. “We have to stop her, Winn”, she said in a voice much different to the one she had been using as she spoke of her memories.

Winn looked at her with a devastated look over her re-lived trauma. “You should tell J’onn and Alex”, he spoke in a soft voice.

She immediately shook her head. “No, they can’t know, they’ll just worry. You have to be the one to solve this, it’s why I’m telling you. You’re already altering the psychic dampeners right? This will help”.

“Well yeah”, he agreed. “Knowing that it targets fear centres, sure”.

“Good”. Then her cell phone began to ring and interrupted anything more Winn might want to say. “Sorry, hang on. It’s Lena, I’ve gotta go”.

“Hey”, Winn reached out and touched her shoulder. “I’m…I’m sorry that this is happening”, he looked at her with compassion, knowing he wouldn’t like to be reliving his own traumatic memories all over again in great detail. “If…I-“

“I’ll be fine”, she insisted before swooping away to change into her civilian clothes.

 

* * *

 

Her next meeting with Lena did not end so well. After she kept brushing off Lena and her duties to Catco, her boss finally called her out on it, on her distracted behaviour work wise and reminded her that didn’t spend seven hundred and fifty million dollars on a company as a favour to a friend or planned to be an absentee landlord. She had an active investment in Catco and she wanted to get everything she could out of it as possible.

Feeling put in her place and ashamed for her behaviour, especially since it wasn’t as if Lena knew she was Supergirl, she promised to get in touch with her contact at the bank. Speaking of which, just as she was getting into the elevator, she got a call from Alex informing her that Psi had hit another bank. “I’m on my way”, she replied and ripped open her shirt.

As the doors shut, Kara felt herself begin to have a panic attack. The walls of the elevator began to close in on her and she felt her chest begin to tighten. It was getting harder and harder to breath. She tried to take a deep breath but it didn’t work. Finally, out of desperation, she ended up ripping out of her clothes and flying directly through the ceiling, hoping that she’d be able to find a good way to explain that later.

“Supergirl?” Alex’s voice came through the comm as she levitated above the clouds.

 “I’m okay”, she huffed out, inhaling as much of the fresh air as she possibly could. “I’m headed there now”.

“She got away”, her sister told her and Kara could have screamed.

 

* * *

 

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. No sign of any psychic intrusion”, Winn informed her after she came into the DEO to be checked over. She had been positive that Psi had somehow got into her head while she was in the elevator and used her distraction to escape. However when she got there and had the tech guy look over her, he had found absolutely nothing wrong with her.

She scowled in surprise. “What?!” There had to have been something wrong. Supergirl didn’t just randomly have panic attacks.

“I think you just had a good old fashioned panic attack”.

“That’s not possible”, she refuted. “No, I’m stronger than that”.

“Look she got into your head, okay? You know she’s forcing you to live through some serious trauma. It’s going to take a toll on anyone, I don’t care if you’re the strongest person in the world”.

Alex came in the room and the conversation died as Kara quickly made an excuse to leave. She went back to her apartment, desperate for some time alone to think or even meditate to some of her planets old prayers. She changed into some comfortable clothes and was sitting in front of her coffee table reciting a mantra to Rao in Kryptonian. That was how Alex found her when she walked into the apartment.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s Kryptonian meditation. We say an ancient mantra to help strengthen the mind”.

It didn’t take long before Alex confessed that she’d made Winn tell her about their conversation. Including about what Kara had been going through. “I didn’t want you to worry”, she said when Alex demanded to know why she hadn’t told her.

“You fight the most dangerous creatures and people in the world. I’m always going to worry”, she pointed out logically.

“I don’t know how to fight this one”, Kara confessed, something she hadn’t wanted to admit to anyone including herself out of fear of appearing weak. “And I should be able to stop her but then she makes her way into my mind…its torture. I don’t know how to deal with that”.

To her relief, Alex didn’t look at her as though she was weak, just with sympathy and concern. “By remembering that your fears don’t define you” the older Danvers told her softly. “You know who you are as Supergirl, who you are as Kara, that’s what defines you.  And she’s got nothing on that”.

“No, who I am as Kara feels broken”, Kara thought of her baby, the precious life she had made with Mon-El that he would never know about, about how she’d been forced to send Mon-El off into the unknown forever and never know what happened to him. About having to always put her duty as Supergirl and the protector of Earth before anything else. She didn’t even want to think about a day where she might have to make a choice between the Earth and her child.

“I lost Mon-El. I’m having his baby that he’ll never know about, Lena keeps asking me where I’m going which is new and horrible. Alex, I’m trying to be myself again” and she was but with everything that had changed, it was hard to remember just who that was. The Kara she remembered had been happy, she’d adored being Supergirl and she loved her job as a reporter, viewed it as equally important to her duty as Supergirl, never needed to lie to Lena or flake on her, hadn’t needed to make a heartbreaking and impossible choice. “But everything that used to make me feel good, like, like a relief is…it’s disappeared”.

Alex had sat quietly, listening to her and not interrupting once. “It’s not always gonna to feel like that. I promise”.

“My life as Supergirl is the one thing I can count on”, not even this baby she was having- that still hadn’t really sunk in was a thing yet, felt like a tangible thing that would last. Kara felt like it was almost inevitable that she would have to face losing that too. “I can go out there and help people. I can make a difference in the world. I can feel strong even though a huge part of me feels so weak and she’s taking that away from me. And if I don’t have Supergirl, what do I have?”

“You got me”, Alex reminded her. “And that kid of yours eventually”.

Kara smiled sadly. “I know that, silly”.

The two sisters chuckled lightly before Alex shuffled forwards and the two hugged. For the first time in a while, in that moment, Kara didn’t feel like she was so alone.

 

* * *

 

Kara had just made herself and Alex two cups of fresh lemonade when the call went out that Psi was out causing havoc in a busy area that had a construction site nearby to boot. Alex set off to get geared up with the other DEO Agents while Kara changed into her costume and flew off to the DEO to check in with Winn. She then headed to the location that Gayle had been spotted at. She arrived just in time to stop a bulldozer from falling onto a mother and her daughter, quickly carrying it away from them. She put it gently down onto the ground before storming off to find Psi.

It didn’t take long. She saw her casually strolling down the street with her bags of cash and Kara didn’t spare a moment before turning on psionic inhibitor that Winn had given to her beforehand. However when Psi saw Kara and sent a psychic attack her way, the Kryptonian immediately stumbled back.

“Ladybird, ladybird fly away home”, Psi taunted as she approached Supergirl, who immediately turned the inhibitor back on. “Your house is on fire and your children, they will burn”.

Kara resisted the urge to touch her stomach protectively. She had to concentrate on her enemy and she couldn’t expose her vulnerability. Before she could do anything against Psi, the woman attacked her again but with a more powerful blast that sent her flying through the air and past several buildings, knocking the bricks of some of them as she hit them along the way. Kara fell onto some stone steps outside of one building and immediately began gasping as a fresh panic attack began to build, visions beginning to cloud her mind.

As Kara began to come out of the psychic induced visions, a wave of devastation hit her entire body as her blue eyes glazed with tears. “He’s dead”.

Alex was quick to find her and ran to her side. “Kara, hey it’s me. It’s okay, you’re okay”, she grabbed her arm and tried to get her sister to look at her but she was lost in her grief.

“I killed him”, her mouth trembled and her body shook as she realised what the visions actually meant. They weren’t memories. They were her worst fear. It wasn’t her in the pod floating in space…it was Mon-El. “It’s him in the pod, not me”.

Realisation lit up Alex’s face as she cottoned on to what Kara was talking about. “Mon-El?”

“I killed him!” tears dripped down her cheeks as the words came out. “I killed him, it was me”, she sniffed as the tears continued to fall. “He’s dead. He’s dead”, she gasped through broken cries. “I know he’s dead, I know it! If he were alive we would have heard from him. We would have gotten a message. He died in the pod. I put him in there and he died! He’ll never know our baby because of me!”

Alex’s heart broke for her sister. There was no way she could keep watching her sister go on like this. “Kara, he’s not dead!” Alex hoped that she was right since she had no way of knowing for sure but she had to believe that there was hope.

“I killed him, I killed him, I killed him!”

 “He is not dead!” she repeated more firmly over Kara’s wails. “He is alive! Okay? I know it! I don’t know where, I don’t know how, I just know he’s alive. You saved him. Just like your mom saved you when she put you in that pod. She knew you were gonna be okay, she knew you were gonna live. Mon-El is alive because of you”.

Thankfully Kara seemed to be listening as her tears had slowly begun to reside as her eyes met Alex’s own brown ones that were filled with her belief and sincerity. “I saved him?”

Alex nodded with a smile. “Yeah”.

Somehow, after that conversation, Kara managed to find the strength to get back up and face off with Psi one final time. This time Kara won, she had faced her fear, confronted it and now Psi had no control over her. When it was all over, Kara immediately flew home and fell to sleep for a few hours, completely exhausted from the fight and everything she’d been through the past day or so.

 

* * *

 

Later that evening, Kara got dressed and actually managed to complete her work for Lena and Catco. She headed over to the office and was grateful that Lena was still there. She sheepishly walked over as Lena looked up from the desk she was standing in front of it.  “So I got in touch with your contact at the bank and he’ll be a great source on edge”.

“I’m glad it was valuable”, Lena answered coolly, her face completely neutral.

Kara folded her arms awkwardly as she thought of what to say to her friend and boss. She picked up a Rubik's cube and started fiddling with it. “Err…I think I need to apologise for my behaviour earlier”.

The other woman stared at her, saying nothing.

“You were right. I have a lot more baggage about Mon-El than I previously thought. It’s not knowing what happened to him that’s the hardest”.

Almost at once, Lena’s icy façade broke. “I know it can’t be easy”.

“You were just trying to be a good friend to me and I bit your head off”.

“This is new for me too”, Lena said softly.

“Working with friends?”

The dark haired woman smiled at her. “No having friends”. Both women chuckled. “Luthors don’t have friends, we have minions. And also I think there’s gonna be a learning curve for both jobs”.

“No, Lena. You were a really good friend and a great boss. Honestly”.

“Thank you” Lena took a look around the office before smiling slyly at Kara. “I’d really like to give you a hug but I’m afraid I’d show favouritism”.

“Err, screw that, come here, bring it in,” Kara ordered and the two of them immediately embraced. They pulled away as the elevator dinged.

“Oh wait, there’s actually someone I really want you to meet”, Lena waved over a pretty brunette woman that stepped out of the elevator dressed in a sharp black suit. Kara recognised her as the mother that she’d rescued with the kid from the bulldozer earlier that day. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Thank you so much for being so understanding”, the woman said to Lena who waved off her thanks.

“Oh god please no, I’m no stranger to family drama.” She then turned to the reporter. “Oh erm, Kara, this is Samantha Arias. She’s going to be taking over for me at L-Corp”.

Kara glanced over at her with surprise. “That’s great! It’s lovely to meet you Miss Arias”.

“Please it’s just Sam”, Sam told her as they shook hands.

“Okay!”

After leaving Catco, Kara went over to the DEO to have a quick ultrasound with Alex to double check that Psi hadn’t actually managed to damage the baby. A quick check confirmed that the little Daxtonian was in good health, probably taking after both parents with the superhuman abilities including healing and strength. “Great, that’s going to hurt when it starts kicking”, Kara complained as Alex turned off the machine.

“Well at least you have super healing”, her sister smirked.

“There is that”, Kara smiled. “Hey Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“You were great today…with me, when I was having that break down. You’ll be an amazing mother someday whenever you and Maggie decide to have them”.

For some reason, Kara’s comment wiped the smile from Alex’s face. She sat up as soon as she registered that something was up with her sister. “Hey, is something wrong?”

“No, no, it’s nothing. It’s fine. I’ m just tired. You should probably get home and get some rest since I’m sure you must be worn out from all of today’s excitement, plus you’re pregnant”.

“If you ever need to talk, I’m here alright? You made me talk and don’t think that this is a one way street alright?”

“Get out of here”, Alex smiled, playfully pushing Kara out the door. As she flew home, the blonde couldn’t help but worry that Alex was keeping something from her. She just hoped that she would confide in her when she was ready.

 


	3. Seeing Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait :)

Chapter Three

After the entire thing with Psi, it was a relief that things stayed relatively quiet in National City.

Weeks passed without Supergirl needing to fight any major, super powered villains and Kara was able to relax slightly. Well as much as she could considering that she was pregnant and still throwing up all the time. Now she could add hormonal episodes and random cravings to the list after a strange outing with Maggie and Alex, who since the DEO, had shown no further sign of anything being wrong but Kara still kept a close eye on her.

“What the hell are you eating?” Maggie questioned as they sat in a small, hipster styled café at one of the bright purple circular tables. “That cannot be legal in any state”.

Both the cop and Alex were gaping at Kara who had made her order while Alex was in the bathroom and Maggie had taken a phone call. She munched happily on the bacon, Oreo and peanut butter baguette, completely oblivious to all the looks she was being given for the strange food choice. She also had a banana milkshake to wash it down with. After Maggie made her comment, Kara paused as she finally noticed that she was being stared at. “What?”

“How can you possibly eat that? That’s disgusting”, Alex grimaced.

Kara ripped off a part of her sandwich and offered it to her sister. “It’s delicious, you should try it!”

“No! Are you trying to kill me?!”

At Alex’s words, tears immediately began to well up in the blonde’s eyes much to the others surprise and dismay. “You think I would deliberately hurt you?”

“No, it was a joke!”

“The thought of you dying is NOT funny!” Kara burst out into sobs as she discarded her horrible choice of sandwich.

“Oh shit”, Maggie stared.

Alex glared at her fiancé “Not helpful”.

“I’m going to lose everyone that matters to me. What’s the point?!” the younger Danvers wailed causing people at the nearby tables to glance over at them.

“Now people are staring”.

“I can see that, Maggie”, Alex hissed. “Help me!”

“No way. You started it, Danvers”, the cop smirked.

“There are people out there KILLING PUPPIES! AND KITTENS! What sort of people would do that?!” Kara exclaimed as tears gushed down her cheeks.  “I can’t save them all. I want to save them all, Alex but I can’t be everywhere at once. I need to protect those precious little animals!”

Alex watched the mess in front of her that was her sister and took a deep breath. She could do this, she could calm down a raging hormonal Supergirl. “Kara, there are lots of baby animals out there that are being rescued right now by good people who want to keep them safe like you do. I’m sorry I made that joke about you killing me, you are right, it’s not funny. Please calm down honey, I don’t like seeing you like this and you need to finish your sandwich”.

“My sandwich?” It was as though a switch had been hit and her tears began to subside as she remembered her disgusting food choice. “I am starving still. Maybe I should order another?”

Maggie groaned.

That had been three weeks ago now and Kara was officially three months along. It had been quite the shock when she woke up one morning to discover that her abs of steel were gone and her belly had rounded out. “Is it normal to start showing this much this early?” Kara questioned her sister after reaching for her cell and calling her up.

“It depends on the person I guess” Alex answered. “Plus we don’t know how Kryptonian pregnancies work and how they differ from a humans. Mon-El isn’t human either so that doesn’t help”.

“From what I remember in my history lessons on Krypton, when Kryptonian women used to reproduce like this the pregnancies would last about twelve months. On Daxam, I think that they lasted about ten”.

“You poor thing”.

“I don’t know if it will be different considering the baby’s going to be a hybrid, as horrible as that word is”, Kara pulled her face and swore never to use it again in connection to her child. “And then there’s the fact that Kryptonian women hadn’t reproduced naturally in centuries, Clark was the first one born that way in a long time and it was frowned upon by the council. For all I know our biology has evolved and the pregnancy will be the same length as a humans”.

“Then there’s the fact that we don’t know how many babies are in there”, Alex added causing Kara to almost drop her phone in surprise.

“What?!”

“You are Super girl. You have super powers from the sun. For all I know, that’s also given you super fertility. You did get pregnant without even trying”.

Kara swore.

“Don’t worry, if anyone can handle octuplets it’s you”, her sister snickered and Kara now began to get the impression that she was messing with her.

“Don’t even joke about that!”

Then there was her work at Catco. Kara had managed to adjust to having Lena as a boss and they were finding a good balance between their friendship and their employer and employee relationship. James still wasn’t that sure about having Lena around that often but he seemed to be coming around little by little. Kara had managed to break one major story about an alien trafficking ring that Maggie had busted with surprisingly no help from Supergirl which made the front page of Catco. She had been on a high for a while after that.

She’d also spent time with Lena’s friend and the new boss at L-Corp, Sam, who was actually really nice and she’d hit it off with almost instantly. The three of them had formed a sort of girls only club that Kara had never experienced before since she’d spent most of her life as an outsider or with only Winn as her best friend – not that there was anything wrong with Winn of course but he was a guy. Sam was a good woman who constantly talked about her daughter Ruby and it was clear to everyone how much she adored her girl.

Seven weeks after the events with Psi, J’onn surprised everyone by announcing he was going back to Mars. Meghan had reached out and apparently his father was alive.

“I’d normally suggest Kara should go with you but I don’t think that’s wise for her right now while she’s pregnant”, Alex sighed, worrying that the man that had become like a father to her was going to get himself killed without someone there to help him.

“Yeah I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to go alone but I probably shouldn’t go”, Kara agreed, surprising everyone. She refused to give up being Supergirl until she absolutely had to and then J’onn would take over and shapeshift as the girl as steel so nobody in National City would get suspicious about her absence. “That doesn’t mean that there’s absolutely no one that could accompany him. I’ll ring Clark”.

J’onn opened his mouth to protest but Kara ignored him, walking away with her cell phone already pressed against her ear as she dialled Superman.

“Hey Kara, what’s up?”

“Clark, I have a favour to ask. Normally I wouldn’t but this is for J’onn and well, I don’t want him to be alone without any back up”.

“What is it?”

Kara filled her cousin in on what J’onn was doing and despite the fact that she was asking him to leave Metropolis to go on a potentially dangerous trip to Mars, Clark didn’t hesitate to accept, agreeing that there was no way Kara should leave Earth while she was pregnant.

“Clark has agreed to go with you. Don’t argue, it’s done”, she informed the Martian before changing into her civilian clothes that were getting slightly tight and an uncomfortable reminder that she needed to go clothes shopping soon, before whizzing off to Catco. Kara wanted to get most of her work out of the way before Alex’s bridal shower.

The bridal shower ended in disaster after Maggie’s father showed up and couldn’t bring himself to approve of his daughter’s sexuality.  Alex went after her leaving Kara to keep the guests entertained despite the awkwardness that had fallen from the drama that had just gone down. By the time Alex and Maggie returned, Kara saw the same look in her eyes that she’d seen after their conversation at the DEO weeks ago. There was something really wrong with her sister and she was going to find out what it was, one way or another.

“Okay. What’s wrong?”

Alex looked up startled when Kara suddenly confronted her after everyone else had left including Maggie who’d gone back to the apartment she shared with her sister. “Nothing’s wrong, Kara”.

“Don’t lie. You had the same broken look in your eyes that I saw after our conversation at the DEO when I said you’d make a great mom. You forget that I know you better than anyone else”.

Her sister immediately deflated, biting her bottom lip. “It’s honestly nothing you need to worry about, Kara. It’s just my own issue that I need to get over. Don’t worry about it”.

“Alex, you know saying that will only make me worry more”.

“Please Kara just drop it, okay?”

Seeing the pleading look on her face, Kara reluctantly agreed but she wouldn’t if this became a regular thing.

The next day, Kara found out that J’onn had returned with his father in tow. Myr’nn was as kind as his son but a lot less hardened despite his time imprisoned by white Martians.  Like his son, he had also taken the form of a black human. “It’s really good to meet you. I’m so glad that you’re here”, she’d greeted him enthusiastically.

“It is good to be here”, he had smiled. “This planet has many marvellous things. My son just introduced me to the substance known as chocolate. It is delicious”.

After that, Kara found herself with a sudden craving for a chocolate cake and after welcoming Myr’nn to the planet, she ended up at a small desert shop that she had previously visited with Mon-El. In fact he had been the one to discover the small treasure and had taken her there. As Kara sat alone at a table with a large piece of chocolate Oreo cake on her plate, she found it hard not to think about the memory of Mon-El holding her hand from across the table as they stuffed themselves with cake.

“We’ll have to come here together when you get here”, she whispered to her baby, wondering if at this stage the child could hear her voice. Kara spoke to the baby often, despite feeling a little weird about it, in the hopes that it would recognise her voice when he or she was born. It hurt her to think that Mon-El wouldn’t be there, holding her hand as she welcomed their son or daughter into the world.

Lately she’d been having more dreams about the field with her mother and Mon-El. In her latest dream, he had even put his hand against her belly as though this dream Mon-El knew she was carrying his child. He’d bent down and kissed her tummy and when she woke up, she’d realised that she had been crying in her sleep. Kara was getting better at accepting that he was gone but she didn’t think that she would ever fully move on from him. He was ‘it’ for her, the love of her life and all that.

Of course the peace and quiet that National City was experiencing had to come to an end eventually. It ended when a meta-human with the ability to cause others to hallucinate showed up and began stealing from art galleries and museums. When Kara found out what was happening, she immediately flashed back to Psi. Why couldn’t they just have a nice normal alien for a change? She was getting a little tired of mind whammies by this point.

“Kara, maybe you ought to sit this one out?” J’onn suggested when she had shown up at the DEO in response to the alert they had sent out, and after seeing the news story that had been playing at Catco. The blonde glowered at the Martian for the suggestion. She wasn’t waddling yet, she was fine enough to take out one meta-human. “You just went through close enough this same thing with Psi. Perhaps I should deal with this one as I am better equipped to protect my mind”.

“J’onn’s got a point”, Alex, the traitor, backed up her boss. “Besides we still don’t even know who this thief is. They wear a mask and are pretty well covered in all of the footage Winn could gather”.

“Firstly, I’m not fragile Alex”, Kara snapped. “Secondly, if anyone can find out who this masked fiend is then it’s me. I know all about living a double life. And finally, what’s to say that J’onn’s not more vulnerable than me because of his abilities? Psi was capable of knocking him out of her head easily”.

J’onn and Alex looked at each other in resignation. It was probably better not to argue with her unless it seemed like she was putting herself in real danger. “If it looks like it’s too much then I’m calling in back-up. And if you get hurt because you refuse to listen to our concerns then I’m pulling you off active duty until further notice”, he warned her sternly.

“Fine”, she agreed more easily than anyone thought she would.

 Since they currently didn’t have anything on their villain of the week, Kara changed into her skirt and sheer pink and white polka dot blouse to head back to work at Catco. She wasn’t all that surprised to find Lena and James having another serious conversation in his office as she made her way down to the newsroom.

After confirming her story assignment with Snapper – she was writing a piece about the art and museum thief so she would have an excuse to go around asking questions without arousing suspicion – she began to head out, just to almost run into Lena outside the elevator. “Oh Kara! I didn’t see you there. Would you like to grab a coffee later? It feels like I hardly ever see you”.

Kara flushed guiltily. It had been hard to make time for her friend with being Supergirl, a reporter and trying to prepare for her baby…which Lena didn’t even know about. She had to tell her. Coffee was probably the perfect time to do that – except she wouldn’t be drinking coffee. “Sure, Lena. How about 1.00?”

“That works for me. I’ll meet you at that cute little coffee shop across the street”.

After her run in with Lena, Kara headed to the museum to interview the director and head of security who answered her questions as best as they could and allowed her to watch footage of the CCTV. She observed as every security guard suddenly began to either flip out, sigh dreamily, cry, yell or break into some other emotional reaction at something invisible that no one could see. Among all the chaos was a shadowy figure dressed from head to toe in black with almost their entire face covered. The jumpsuit they were wearing was bulky and hid their figure well so it was hard to say if it was a man or a woman.

“Whoever it was managed to get in and out without a single guard realising anyone was there until they were gone and they snapped out of it, completely confused and with no memory of seeing anyone come in. The only proof is this footage and the missing relics from the Egyptian department”. Those relics were thousands of years old and worth millions, Kara could only wince at how those guards must have felt upon realising they were gone from right under their nose.

By the time she’d finished up at the museum, it was almost one and she quickly tucked her notepad and recording device away into her bag before heading to ‘daisy’s coffee and cake shop’, a niche little coffee place that had only recently opened up across from Catco. Lena was already waiting by the time Kara got there and had saved them a seat by the window. She had also ordered for them both judging from the two cups that were on the table.

“I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of getting your regular order”.

Kara cringed at the smell of the coffee, something that would normally make her melt with pleasure. She felt bad that she hadn’t bothered to drop her news on Lena beforehand but it had completely slipped her mind. “Thanks, Lena, you didn’t have to do that”.

“It’s my pleasure. Anything for my favourite reporter”, Lena grinned as she took a sip of her own drink.

“Hey Lena. There’s something that I really need to tell you. I know I should have told you earlier but I was still coming to terms with it myself and with everything that’s been going on recently…my head’s just been elsewhere…”

Her friend looked over at her with concern, her perfectly shaped brows furrowing as she frowned. “Kara, is everything alright? What is it?”

Well here goes, Kara thought and took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant”.

There was silence as Lena’s green eyes widened in shock. Obviously this hadn’t been something that she had been expecting to hear and who could blame her? “Mon-El?”

“Yes”, she confirmed at the unfinished question. She knew what the dark haired woman meant by that. “I only found out over a month after he’d been gone. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner”.

“It explains so much”, her friend sighed. “The weird moods, the way you kept coming and going” – Kara wasn’t going to correct her that the coming and going was actually due to Supergirl – “The weight gain, the-“

“Wait, hold on a second, the what?!” Blue eyes flashed indignantly as a heat crept up the back of her neck.

“Oh Kara, I’m sorry, I just meant that you…that your clothes were a big tighter especially around the chest” Lena looked mortified that she had accidentally let that thought slip out. “And I shouldn’t have ordered you coffee. I’ll get you something else”.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to-“

“Please I want to. Especially after I just blurted that out”, Lena laughed self-depreciatively as she waved down a waitress. “Could we have a lemonade over here?”

“Sure, I’ll bring it right over”.

After the waitress vanished behind the counter, Kara shot Lena an understanding smile. “Lena, it’s alright. I know I’ve gained weight. It’s kind of unavoidable, I know that even if I don’t like it”.

 “You still look gorgeous though! I hope if I ever have a child I look as radiant as you”.

Lena was probably one of the most stunning women she knew so Kara thought it was inevitable that she’d look good regardless. “Thanks. So how are things with James?”

The waitress brought over her drink and the two women spent the entire lunch catching up with each other including Lena’s somewhat strange relationship with James and what names Kara was thinking about for the baby. In all honestly, she had no idea. If it was a girl she would probably follow her house’s naming tradition for women with names all ending in ‘ra’.

After a while, Lena had to apologise and dash off to an important meeting with L-Corp shareholders and Kara wanted to hunt down any possible leads on the museum culprit. As she headed over to her work building, her cell began to go off. “What’s going on?” She answered after checking the number and realising that it was her sister.

“The culprit’s been located at one of the new luxury penthouses on 34th Avenue. From what we know its home to one of the richest art collectors in National City”.

“I’m on it”.

“Be careful!”

Kara hung up and changed into her uniform before speeding over to the penthouse on one of the fancy new buildings that had been developed in the past year. She landed on the balcony and saw a middle age woman sobbing in the middle of a plush fur carpet. Flinging open the doors, she strode inside and looked around for any sign of the meta-human.

“Forgive me, Davy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I love you, please”.

The broken woman on the floor caught her eye and she felt herself fill with pity for the woman. Obviously having the luxurious lifestyle that wealth offered didn’t make up for everything in life. She was about to approach her to try and snap her out of it when a movement in the corner of the room got her attention. She spun around and saw the masked figure about to head onto the balcony.

“Stop right there”, Supergirl demanded with all the authority that she could muster. The meta-human stopped and then began to snicker.

“Do you really think that you can stop me, Supergirl? Even you are not immune to my powers”.

Kara went to move forwards to fight them and suddenly was hit by a wave of power but her surroundings remained the same…except that the room was empty. “Okay I know you’re still here! You can’t teleport as far as I know”. She narrowed her blue eyes and glared at the spot that they had been a moment ago before a wail caught her attention.

“What the-“

She spun on the spot and her heart dropped to the floor when she saw Mon-El in front of her, holding a baby. He was glaring at her accusingly.  “You had my child and never told me about them. You kept me from my only surviving family after you killed my mother. I’m alone and it’s all your fault, Kara. You deserve to be alone too”.

She watched as Mon-El and her baby began to disappear. Unable to control herself, Kara let out of a heart breaking screech as she fell to the floor in denial.

“Why do you always get everything I want?” A snide voice came from behind her now and Kara turned to see Alex standing over her with a sneer on her lips. “You stole my parents love and attention, you have powers, you work at the place that I was hired at long before you came along and now you’re having a baby that you don’t really want and I deserve more than you. I’d make a much better mother than you ever would, Kara. You even think so yourself”.

Tears leaked down her cheeks, hot and fast. Kara pleaded with the fake Alex to stop. “You’re not Alex. You are not my sister”.

“I’m your sister. I’m everything she thinks but won’t say out loud, too scared to hurt your fragile little feelings especially since your still whining over Mon-El like a silly little girl”.

Suddenly the Alex in front of her vanished and was replaced by Mon-El again. This time it was the Mon-El she remembered with kindness and love on his face. “Kara”.

“Mon-El?” she reached for him as though he would be able to take her hand.

“I love you. I’m here”.

Suddenly a new person appeared beside Mon-El. It was a little girl with brown hair and blue eyes.

“Mommy”, she grinned toothily, a small gap in her front teeth on display and dimples creasing her cheeks.

Kara watched longingly as Mon-El scooped the small girl into his arms and pressed a kiss on her cheek. It was everything that she could have ever wanted.

“Mon-El…”

Suddenly the pair in front of her vanished and she felt herself suddenly snap back to reality to hear her sister yelling her name. “KARA!”

Blue eyes glanced up and saw the real Alex standing over her with a panicked look on her face. “Oh thank god. You wouldn’t respond to any of us for ages”.

“A-A-Alex?” Kara’s lips trembled as she fought off a fresh batch of tears.

“I’m here”, her sister immediately took her into her arms and rocked her gently as her body shook with sobs. 

Eventually Kara calmed down and came back to herself. “What happened to the meta-human?” Judging from the look on Alex’s face, she just knew that they had escaped again. This time it was on her. “I should have known that her powers would affect me. I guess I was just desperate to prove that I could still do my duties as Supergirl”.

“No one needs you to prove yourself. We all know you can handle mostly anything that is thrown your way. We’re just a little more cautious while you’re in a more vulnerable condition right now. And none of us could have a handled a hit from that meta-human but the good news is that the use of their powers leaves a sort of psychic finger print. Winn discovered it when he was here earlier with his scanner”.

“Everyone saw me?” Kara looked around the room and realised that the victim was gone and there was a police tape next to the front door. “When did they go?”

“They left as soon as Winn collected the scans. No one is going to look at you any differently. You’re still Supergirl to them”, the DEO Agent pointed out softly. “Now let’s get the hell out of here and get you home.  What do you say to us having a Danvers’ sister’s night in and ordering take out?”

Kara sniffed and smiled appreciatively at her older sis. “That sounds perfect”.

The two of them returned to Kara’s apartment where the latter changed into a pair of comfy fluffy pyjamas that Mon-El had bought for her. They were stretchy so they still fit pretty well without any discomfort. While Kara changed, Alex rung for pizza and also took the liberty of ordering some warm cookie dough with ice-cream for dessert. As they waited for the food to arrive, the two of them debated what DVD to put on and in the end selected Charlie’s Angels.

About fifteen minutes into the film, the food arrived and the two of them sat at the sofa with two pizza boxes open (Kara needed an extra-large one to herself due to her metabolism), and the cookie dough waiting for them on the coffee table. Alex had poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle that Kara couldn’t currently touch (they had no idea how alcohol would affect the baby, Kryptonian or not) while Kara had a large glass of water.

“Thanks for doing this, Alex. Are you sure Maggie is okay with you being here with me right now?”

The red head shrugged. “I told her you needed me and she said she understood”.

“I’m glad you’re here with me right now”, Kara confessed after munching on a huge bite of pizza.

Alex glanced over at her with concern as she closed her now empty pizza box. “Kara, what did…what did the metahuman make you see? I saw the footage of the other victims, I know that whatever they see can go between being nightmarish to a dream come to life”.

As she chewed on the last piece of her pizza, the blonde froze mid-bite. “I saw…I saw you and Mon-El mostly”.

“And what did we do?” she continued to press. “It had to have been something to make you shake like that. I never want to see you like that ever again”.

Kara never thought how she must have looked to her sister and she felt bad for scaring her. “You and Mon-El were sort of twisted versions of yourself. He said it was my fault he was all alone with no family and that I kept him from his child. Then you appeared and said you were sick of me getting everything you wanted and that you would make a much better mother than me. You called me a silly girl for crying over Mon-El. Then that evil version of you disappeared and the Mon-El I remembered appeared. He looked at me like the real one did and told me that he loved me and he was here. Then a little girl appeared and called me mommy. Mon-El picked her up and kissed her. It was like I was seeing the family that we should have been…that I wanted”.

Tears glazed her eyes and caused her vision to blur. Immediately Alex threw her arms around her. “You know that I would never in a million years say anything like that or even think it. I don’t. I love you and I think you’ll be a wonderful mother. And you’re not silly for grieving. Never ever think that about yourself. You also know that Mon-El would never blame you for what happened. You had no way of knowing that you had conceived his baby the same week that he had to leave Earth indefinitely. None of that is on you”.

“I know. I think the worst part was seeing the Mon-El I remembered so close but not real. It was just a reminder of what I’ll never get to have”.

A growl erupted from Alex. “When I find this metahuman, I’m going to kick their ass for mind fucking you like that”.

“Thanks, Alex”, Kara chuckled watery. “Can we have that cookie dough now? I think I need it”.

* * *

 

 

The next day, Kara turned up at the DEO to the news that Winn had managed to uncover their mysterious meta-human just off the psychic imprint he was able to pick up from the penthouse. “Lucky for us everyone’s psychic imprints match their fingerprints and are unique in the same way. True that most people can’t actually leave a psychic imprint unless they have some sort of telepathic ability but the point remains. I was able to freeze their ‘imprint’ so to speak and pull it into the DEO’s database”.

“What did you find?” Alex asked, looking as impressed as Kara felt by their friend’s work.

He grinned and whirled around in his seat, tapping something on his tablet and pulling it up on the screen. “Turns out that our mystery guy has a criminal record and their imprints are in the police database. Meet Alicia Coleman, thirty three and newly divorced. She was previously arrested for attempting to kill her now ex-husband after his string of affairs. The divorce left her pretty broke and she lost her job as head of scientific research at Mercury Labs over in Central City”.

“How did she get her powers?” J’onn questioned, frowning at the picture of the attractive but scowling blonde on the screen.

“A report was filed by a colleague at Mercury Labs after a series of top secret chemicals were stolen around the same time she was fired but no one was able to prove it was her”, Winn explained. “I’m assuming that she mixed a cocktail of those fancy chemicals and wham! Instant meta-human”.

“Do we know where she is now?” Kara glared at the woman on the screen.

“As it happens I was able to use her psychic imprint to track down her last known locations. Everywhere she goes, whenever she uses her abilities, she’ll leave the same mark. Sort of like following foot prints in the snow or something. According to my research, Brainwave – that is what I’m calling her by the way because it’s cool - was last at L-Corp…five minutes ago”.

“I’m on it”.

“No, wait”, Alex pulled her back by the crook of her arm. “You need something to protect yourself from her or it’ll all be pointless”.

“You should reuse the psychic dampener from Psi. It should work the same way”, Winn recommended.

“I’ll get them sent up”, J’onn nodded and walked over to an Agent standing nearby.

“I’m coming with you”, the older Danvers declared, no leaving any room for argument in her tone. Kara wanted to object but she knew that it would be better if her sister was there just in case the dampeners didn’t work.

Once they had the dampeners, Kara flew off to L-Corp with Alex and the other DEO Agents following in their SUVS. She scanned the building with her x-ray vision until she spotted Alicia’s dark clad figure in one of the labs. Kara flew up to the main office to give Sam and Lena a head’s up about the intruder and both women glanced up in surprise when she appeared.

“Sorry to interrupt your meeting ladies but there’s a dangerous metahuman lurking about in one of the labs. I’m going to take care of her. Just wanted to give you a heads up”.

“Thank you, Supergirl”, Lena smiled and Kara sped off down to the lab. As soon as she arrived she saw Alicia slipping bits of extremely expensive tech into one of her bags.

She quickly switched on the dampener before alerting the woman to her presence. “Stop right there, Alicia. I know who you are and the police know too. It’s over”.

“Aw, Supergirl, back for another round? I thought you had enough last night when I left you shaking on the floor like a baby”.

“I think you’ll find you won’t have the same effect on me this time”.

“We’ll see about that”, Alicia smirked behind her mask and moved forwards. Immediately she sent a psychic blast at Kara and to Kara’s surprise and dismay, the dampener exploded.

Not good, she thought as Alicia prepared to blast her again. Just as she held out her hands to do it, the lab door burst open and Alex stormed in with several agents.

“Don’t even think about it, bitch”.

She didn’t even hesitate before shooting her with a sedative. “Fuck”, Alicia groaned as she quickly lost consciousness.

“You better put the meta cuffs on her. The dampener did nothing but explode”.

Alex nodded over at Supergirl before bending down and snapping the blonde’s wrists into the heavy metal cuffs. “We’ll take care of this, Supergirl”.

Kara nodded before flying out of the lab and L-Corp and back to her apartment. She had a story to write and get to print before the next issue of Catco went out.


	4. In The Light Of Rao

Chapter Four

“Crap”, Kara hissed as she glared at herself in her full length mirror.

She had gone to get dressed for Catco and went to zip her skirt only to realise it wouldn’t fasten. The clasp did not reach. Kara discarded and tried her other pants and skirts only to get the same results. She stared at her belly which had swollen rapidly in the past week since she officially hit sixteen weeks; and thought how unfair it was that most humans only looked like they’d eaten too much by this stage but since Kryptonians apparently had larger babies, it meant that she was going to be bigger than a human. So much for the so-called benefits of being superhuman.

As she realised that she had no appropriate clothes for work, Kara also realised what this meant for her suit. She quickly grabbed her costume and began to change into it. The top clung to her slightly bigger boobs and displayed her bump prominently with its stretchy, clingy material and the skirt wouldn’t go over her belly. It was awkward to say the least. She reached for her cell phone and quickly dialled Winn’s number. Thankfully he picked up quickly. “Kara, what’s up?”

“I need a favour”.

“Sure, anything for my best friend”.

Kara’s cheeks flushed as she prepared to admit her current issue to Winn. “I can’t fit into my costume. Can you possibly make another but…one with more stretch?”

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes that seemed to drag on until her friend cleared his throat and asked, “Are you asking me to make you a maternity Supergirl costume?”

“No! Definitely not…maybe…okay, yes I am. I’m not ready to give up being Supergirl but I can’t go out in a skirt that won’t go up and a top that practically looks see through it clings to my stomach so much. Please can you do me a solid? And it’d would be extra great if you could not mention this to Alex”.

“If you’re at the stage that your costume won’t even go over you properly, maybe…perhaps, you should…think about…potentially considering it might be time to let J’onn take over? People are going to notice you flying around with a baby belly, Kara”.

“Damnit, Winn”.

“I’m saying this because I love you”, Winn rushed to add. “Not because I want to hold you back or get in your way”.

Kara sighed and looked at her reflection in the mirror one more time. Her friend was right. She had agreed to hand over the reins to J’onn when she began to show too much.  It would be way too suspicious for Supergirl to be caught flying with a bump, even if her clothes fitted properly.

“Okay. Tell J’onn I’m officially passing Supergirl onto him for the foreseeable future”.

“Will do. You should probably let Alex know yourself though. And don’t forget you can still make a difference and help people through your reporting”.

“I know. Thanks, Winn”, Kara sighed before hanging up. She quickly rung Alex and filled her sister in on the latest turn of events.

“Well I didn’t want to say anything but you were bursting out of your shirt at dinner last night”.

Kara huffed and hung up on her sister before pulling on some sweat pants and a stretchy tank top she used to lounge around in. She would have to go shopping before she could go show her face at Catco and she quickly sent a text to both Lena and James to let them know what was up.

 

* * *

 

Maternity shopping was a drag, Kara couldn’t help but think. However she managed to find a dozen cute outfits in her preferred style and used her American Express card to pay for it all. She returned back to her apartment and slipped on her new knitted black skater dress with a white, embellished peter pan collar. It looked nice with her red Mary-Jane heels and drew attention away from her bump. Not that she was embarrassed by it but she wasn’t a fan of people gawking at her as she passed and trying to touch her bump. She was pregnant, not public property.

Lena immediately greeted her as she stepped off the elevator. “You look gorgeous. I see that maternity shopping went well”. She had been forced to inform her boss the exact nature of why she was going to be late in. “Next time you go for more things or to shop for the baby, please let me come with you. I could use a break from the obnoxious old white men talking down at me just because I’m a woman. I don’t know how Cat did it, I really don’t”.

“Cat was…Cat”, Kara smiled fondly at the thought of her old boss. She’d dropped her an email a while ago to tell her about the baby and while she had been surprised, she was completely supportive and already arranging to fly out for her baby shower whenever that would be. She assumed Alex would be taking the lead in planning it as Kara did the bridal shower for her and Maggie.

“Free for lunch later?” her boss questioned as they prepared to part ways.

“Count me in”.

After confirming lunch plans with Lena, Kara headed down to get an assignment. She had officially announced her pregnancy to the rest of the reporting department and Snapper had begun giving her slightly less strenuous assignments. “I don’t want to get my ass sued if anything happens to your pregnant ass”, he’d griped at her when she’d questioned why he’d given her a kitten adoption story over a drug ring burst.

The story she’d been given with the deadline of Friday was a feature on National City’s biggest children’s hospital. She really hoped that her hormones didn’t give her away when she was forced with the reality of sick and dying kids. After making some phone calls and sending some emails, Kara had made an official appointment to come tour the hospital and interview the chief and some heads of the different departments as well as speak to some of the children.

By the time she’d finished that and attended a meeting, it was time for lunch with Lena. “You don’t mind if we pop into L-Corp quickly do you?” she’d asked after they’d finished eating. “Then we can walk back to Catco together”.

“Of course not”.

After making the walk over to the L-Corp building, they quickly headed up to the office, the guards waving them in without pause. “I just have to sign some papers and then we can head back to work”, Lena told her as she approached her desk.

“Yeah, no problem”, Kara followed behind her. “But my boss really doesn’t like when I’m late”.

“Sorry!” Sam’s voice interrupted them as she rushed through the door, breathing heavily as though she had been rushing.

Lena smiled at her warmly. “Hey!”

“Ruby had a soccer game and then the kids wanted to get ice-cream to celebrate”, she explained, tossing her bag down next to the desk.

“Oh no worries, you remember Kara?”

“Yes! Of course I do”, Sam turned to give the blonde a friendly look. “It’s nice to see you”.

“Good to see you”, Kara responded right away. She wondered if this was a preview of her future, rushing around to work and Supergirl duties between showing up for soccer games and taking her kid out for ice-cream afterwards.

“Okay so the JQB merger should be finalised any minute”, Sam handed a sleek black folder over to Lena. “Unless Paul tries to pull something which I will not allow”.

“Oh Paul is the one thing I do not miss”, the Luthor heiress scoffed. “Skeezeball lawyer”, she explained to Kara.

“Ah gotcha”.

Kara watched as Lena leant over to sign the file in the folder Sam had given to her. “So, how do you plan on celebrating your first big merger as my CFO?”

An idea immediately hit Kara and she began speaking before she could stop herself. “We’re having a girl’s night at my place tonight, do you want to come?” Lena looked over at her and grinned in approval.

“No, I couldn’t intrude”, the single mom protested as she got up from her seat.

“You do realise that Lena’s not going to take no for an answer, right?”

Lena pointed at Kara in agreement. “It’s accurate”.

Sam laughed as she sat back down. “Okay, alright, I’ll go. What should I bring?”

Kara’s attention drifted from the conversation as something on Sam’s desk caught her eye. She stared intensely at the leaflet and picked it up to inspect it as Lena told Sam to bring booze.

“Where did you get this?” she asked as she looked at the familiar Kryptonian symbol on the front. Something that humans shouldn’t be aware about and it sent off alarm bells in the back of her head.

“Oh some weirdo at Ruby’s soccer game”, Sam frowned. “She came up to me and tried to enlist me in some self-help meeting”.

“I hate those things. They’re a waste of trees and of our time”, Lena contributed as she moved away from her desk.

“Do you mind if I keep this?” she asked Sam, thinking that she may just have found a new story. Of course she probably wouldn’t be able to investigate it herself…though how dangerous could a group of religiously inclined humans possibly be? She’d still have to make sure that J’onn and Alex looked into it. Kryptonian stuff in human hands…it could be dangerous. Even just knowledge of the religion. Something wasn’t right about the way they were using it anyway.

Sam didn’t seem too bothered about parting with the leaflet. “Go ahead”.

“See you later”, Lena shot from the doorway as she and Kara headed out of the office and back over to Catco. After work, Kara decided that she would drop the leaflet off at the DEO and see what they could uncover about this group.

* * *

 

When the work day was ending, Winn and James were on their way out and caught Kara at her desk, looking up the group behind the leaflet. “Oh, hey where’d you get this?” Winn questioned as he picked it up off the desk.

James glanced at it, over Winn’s shoulder. “What’s that?”

“It’s the Kryptonian symbol for Rao”, Kara explained, looking away from her screen.

Winn stared at the leaflet in his hands. “It’s the god of Krypton”.

“I know but what’s it doing in a pamphlet?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to research all afternoon and I can’t find anything”, Kara told them. She had intended to put the story aside and just give the thing over to Alex and J’onn but she hadn’t been able to help herself. She was too curious about what it meant. However, all her efforts had been for nothing.

“It’s just a time and address. That looks kind of ominous”, the tech pointed out, flipping it over. 

Kara shut off her computer and stood up, grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair. “Just how ominous it is…well I’m about to find out”.

“Wait, wait, wait, you’re going to go there?” Winn looked at her concerned, clearly wanting to protest of her trying to infiltrate a potentially dangerous cult.

“It’ll be alright, Winn. I’m only going to check it out”, she insisted. “I’m a reporter, this is my job”.

“We’re coming with you”, James insisted as she began walking away.

“I don’t need your protection. I’m pregnant, not fragile and I’m still Supergirl, I can still defend myself even if I’m off duty”, she argued but the two men insisted on following her anyway. She decided to let it go since she probably wouldn’t hear the end of it from Alex if she didn’t have those two with her anyway.

They snuck into the abandoned looking building without issue and entered into a dimly lit room surrounded by crystals. As soon as they came in, they were greeted by a young blonde girl who didn’t seem even out of her teens. “Hi!”

Kara was quick to return the greeting. “Hi!”

The girl looked at the three of them uncertainly. “Are you new here?”

“Yeah”.

“Lucky you. My first meeting was transformative”, she gushed as the three of them tilted their heads up with interest.

“Really? So what exactly happens during meetings?” Kara questioned, her reporting instincts kicking in.

“Oh…err…it’s actually more powerful if you experience it yourself. Oh it’s starting”, the blonde smiled at them and directed them towards the seats. She took one right at the front while Kara, James and Winn made sure to sit on the very back row as a middle aged white man made his way to the front where a podium with Rao’s symbol stood.

“Welcome children of Rao”, the man said as he stood at the podium. Obviously he was the leader for this entire thing, Kara noted. Although what this was, she wasn’t entirely sure yet.

James leant towards his friends. “This is starting to feel a little…”

“Culty?” Winn whispered.

“Yeah”.

“We are here all of us by her grace. We’re here together, standing in the light, for just one reason. We’re here because Supergirl saved us”.

Kara’s face was like stone as she realised what was going on. They weren’t just gathered here to meet, they were here to worship _her_ as though she was some kind of god.

She watched with her friends as the man lit a candle. “Let us begin by reaffirming our faith.  That we go forth alone, our souls unite under Rao’s glad sunrays”. As he broke into the old Kryptonian prayer to Rao, Kara flashed back to a time on Krypton when her mother recited the very same words to her. Except back then the prayer and the candle actually meant something. It wasn’t…whatever this was.

“Many of us don’t get second chances at life”, Kara watched as he preached to the room with all sincerity in his voice. He was obviously a man who truly believed in what he was selling. “Many of us stay lost. I’m not talking about driving around in circles because you’re running out of gas and have no GPS. I’m talking about being _spiritually_ lost”.

Then he pulled up the young blonde girl from the crowd – Olivia, she was called, and made her go up to the podium to talk about her experience. She told how she was at a rooftop party, how she’d drunk too much and then she started falling to her probable death for what seemed like an eternity until Supergirl caught her and saved her life. She recounted her experience with tears in her eyes and a voice choked full of emotion, full of gratitude towards her saviour. “Because of Supergirl I realised I still deserved to be loved. Supergirl saved me”.

Kara was uncomfortable and uneasy as the rest of the room broke out clapping at her speech. She wouldn’t lie and pretend like she didn’t enjoy having people’s admiration and respect after she saved the day but this was something else entirely. These people here put her up on a pedestal and made her out to be some kind of god.

“Do you remember saving her?” Jimmy muttered.

Kara looked around the room and realised she recognised everybody from having encountered them at one point or another. “I remember all of them”.

They then watched as the preacher began to go into a speech that confirmed Kara’s worst suspicion: they were there to worship her. She watched, mortified, as they began chanting and giving thanks to Supergirl. “Wait, who are they praying to?” Winn blurted out, seemingly not having cottoned on yet.

With a pale stricken face, Kara answered, “me”.

 

* * *

 

After the entire meeting ended, the three managed to sneak out without drawing attention to themselves.  Kara, James and Winn went over to the DEO, agreeing that they needed to fill them in on this new cult. She had a feeling that a couple of meetings talking about how grateful they were to her alter ego wasn’t the extent of what they got up to and she wanted to make sure that nobody was doing anything harmful to themselves or others in her name.

“Okay so I ran facial recognition”, Winn appeared with his tablet in hand, addressing Kara, James and now J’onn who walked beside them. “Thomas Coville, 44 years old, born and raised in National City. Definitely not an alien, no offense”, he shot an apologetic look at Kara at those she might take insult at his comment.

“Any red flags Agent Schott?” J’onn questioned, ignoring his remark. “Criminal records or arrests?”

“Well he was pretty much a boy scout until about three years ago when his wife filed for divorce and then his life fell apart” he replied as they stood around the main control table while Winn approached the monitor and scrolled through the information on his tablet. “Let’s see…he was disbarred from practicing law after a series of misdemeanour convictions for public drinking and disorderly conduct”.

He pulled the information and Coville’s picture up on one of the monitor screens in front of them. “I don’t understand how this connects to Supergirl, I don’t remember saving him”, Kara frowned at the picture, wondering what she had done to deserve his devotion in such a way. “And trust me, I would remember”.

“That is right, yes, you did not save him as an individual… _but_ I looked into mass emergencies that Supergirl intervened in you know burning buildings, colliding trains, the usu”, Winn informed her, waving off her remark with his hand. “I looked a little deeper…Thomas Coville was on flight 237”.

“What’s so important about flight 237?” James questioned as Kara walked up to the screen, her eyes widening slightly in realisation and remembrance.

“It’s the flight Alex was on that I saved. The night I became Supergirl”.

“So now we know why Coville is the leader of a religion that worships Supergirl”, J’onn spoke up.

Kara protested at the usage of the term ‘religion’ in relation to whatever Coville’s group was. “But it’s not a religion, J’onn, it’s a cult! He’s taking the teachings of Rao and twisting them”.

“Yeah and like, how does he know so much about it?” Winn wondered. That was a question on all of their minds. “Right? And I don’t mean just the symbol but I’m talking about the sacred texts…”

“Coville is handing out pamphlets and recruiting people who have been saved by Supergirl to his cult of Rao, he’s got to have a motive”, Kara didn’t like it one bit. She was supposed to be off official duty now but this was personal. She didn’t know if she could back off and let J’onn or Alex take over this investigation. “Winn, can you keep digging on Coville?” The more information they had on him, the better. She wasn’t sure what he was doing or why but she wanted to figure it out and make sure it wasn’t dangerous.

“I can dig it”, Winn agreed.

“Kara…” J’onn approached her as she began to walk away. “I know that this case is very personal to you but I’m going to have to ask you to back off. We don’t know how dangerous this Coville guy is and if you show up like Supergirl in your condition…well it might not go down so well with a nut job that is viewing you as a religious figure”.

The blonde huffed but she saw his point immediately. She should stay away and let J’onn handle it as Supergirl since Kara was in no state to. She wasn’t fragile by any means but this cult knew a lot about Kryptonian religion. Who’s to say they didn’t have any Kryptonite hidden somewhere? If he took one look at her stomach and flipped out because she wasn’t some kind of virginal, celibate being, who knows what he could do?

“Alright but keep me filled in. I suppose this is you officially taking over as Supergirl now?”

“I guess it is”, he agreed.

Sighing, Kara flew out of the DEO and back to her apartment to prepare for the girl’s night that she had arranged and invited Sam to. When she got there, Alex and Maggie had already arrived and were on her sofa talking. “Kara, are you okay? You look tired”, her sister clucked at her like the mother hen she was.

“I’m fine. I’m just going to change into something a bit more comfortable for when Lena and Sam get here”.

She slipped out of her maternity dress and into a pair of comfy yoga pants and an oversize t-shirt that she had stolen from Mon-El’s leftover pile of clothes that he had kept at her place. His smell still lingered on the unwashed shirt and was somewhat comforting to her since she couldn’t have the real thing.

As Kara walked back into the living room, there was a tap on the door. She went over and opened it to reveal both Lena and Sam together, both holding bottles of booze which Kara was going to refrain from. She would however have a nice and refreshing drink of orange juice with a bowl of chilli peanuts to snack on.

Sam, thankfully, fitted effortlessly into their little girl group and it wasn’t long before Alex was past slightly tipsy and the others weren’t much better besides from the completely sober Kara.

“I remember when I was pregnant and I couldn’t drink. I think the lack of coffee was the worst part”, Sam related to Kara, who nodded her head in vigorous agreement. That was definitely the one part that she was missing.

“I still can’t believe that my little sister is having a baby”, Alex sighed with suspiciously wet eyes. “My baby sister is having a baby. That’s crazy”.

“People have babies all the time, it’s not that crazy Danvers”, Maggie smirked, not registering the crestfallen look on Alex’s face from her remark. Kara noticed and added it to her collection of things that she had noticed about her sister recently. If she didn’t know any better, she would think that the reason she was so down was because of the topic of children.

“Ooh, guys I have got the craziest story”, Lena giggled, joining Alex in striding over the line between slightly tipsy and a little drunk. She had downed about three wines at this point so it wasn’t a surprise. Kara found drunk Lena to be extremely amusing as she regaled them all with her funniest anecdotes. “So this very handsome world leader who I shall not name”, she smirked with a gleam in her eyes that had the others in the room looking on with curious looks, already enthralled by the story. “Invites me to dinner at the Bourbon where he’s staying. Right, so we get there and he tells me he has this very important question he has to ask me and I’m thinking, well okay, he’s going to invite me up to his room so I’m considering my answer when he turns around and asks me…if I was baptised”.

“What?!” Kara exclaimed. That was definitely not the way she had thought the story was going to go.

“No!” Sam bellowed.

“Yes! Yes, I just burst out laughing and said no but apparently…yeah, he only sleeps with good Catholics”.

“That’s insane”, Maggie remarked and looked at Alex, who pulled a face.

“Well actually, I found it kind of attractive that he believed in something”, Lena surprised them by saying. “So go with that”.

“What about you, Kara? You seeing anyone? What about the father of your baby, if you don’t mind me asking?” Sam spoke up, looking at the blonde with genuine curiosity. The others paused and Kara wondered what she was supposed to say in answer to that. I was but he suddenly became allergic to the planet and I had to send him away in my old pod that I crash landed on Earth in?

“Actually I’m still getting over a relationship…well it was with the baby’s father but he, err, he had to move away”. Lena looked over at her sympathetically, knowing what had happened while she felt Alex’s concerned eyes on her as though expecting her to break down any moment at the subject of Mon-El.

“What about Ruby’s father? Is he still in the picture?” Alex turned the spotlight onto Sam, who didn’t seem quite as awkward about the topic as Kara had been.

“Nope. It’s just me and Ruby”, she answered and took a sip of her wine.

“Wow. Raising a daughter by yourself, that’s incredible”, Alex commended her with genuine admiration.

Maggie nodded in agreement. “Yeah”

“I mean how do you do that?” Kara’s ears perked up, wanting to hear the answer since she was essentially going to be a single mother herself sooner or later.

“Err, not very gracefully, always behind on something. You guys will see when you have kids or when Kara’s baby is born”.

Maggie looked over at Alex, who awkwardly shook her head. “Well actually, we’re not going to…we’re not gonna have kids”.

Kara immediately glanced over at her, remembering how many times in the past she had heard Alex talking about how much she wanted to have a kid someday and raise them in a house like they had grown up in with the Danvers.  Something told her that the non-kids decision was not Alex’s and it hit her that this was probably the reason why her sister had been so off at times lately.

“We’ll just be the cool aunts”, Maggie smiled.

Sam didn’t seem to see anything wrong with that as she blurted out happily, “Great! I mean Ruby would love that! Also I’m sorry for assuming”.

“No, no worries”, Alex assured her. “It’s…”

Kara saw the way her sister bit her lip and trailed off and knew that she had guessed right. Her sister wasn’t happy about the decision not to have children. It made her begin to worry about Alex being willing to make such a big sacrifice for Maggie and how that would affect her and their relationship in the long run. Still, it wasn’t as if she could say anything right now, not with everyone else including Maggie in the room.

“Put me down as another cool aunt”, Lena grinned. “You too, Kara”.

“Yeah and the slightly nerdier one”, the DEO Agent and scientist remarked with a soft chuckle that Kara could tell was slightly sad even if no one else noticed it.

“Wow you guys are amazing. That’s very cool”, Sam declared, clearly touched by the women in the room and the way they had not only welcomed her into their group but her daughter too.

Suddenly alarms blaring caught Kara’s attention but since there wasn’t anything she could do herself since her suit was no good and she was off duty for the foreseeable future, she quickly shot off a text to J’onn. He immediately shot back a reply: on it.  She let out a breath of relief and then forced herself to spend the rest of the evening enjoying the conversation with her girlfriends and getting well acquainted with a new one.

* * *

 

The next day J’onn filled her in on what had happened the night before: Coville was encouraging his followers to risk their lives just for the chance to be saved by Supergirl and have their faith proven. The thought of people harming themselves or throwing themselves off buildings and setting fires just so that she would come to their rescue and validate their beliefs was more than a bit disturbing. It sent chills down her spine to think that someone would try something and there may come a time when she…or J’onn as it was currently….couldn’t come for them.

“We have to stop it. I’m going to confront Coville as Kara, as a reporter and get some answers” she told the DEO director before tracking Coville down at the cults meeting place. Kara was in the middle of questioning him, when he interrupted her.

“Is this a test?”

She frowned, stiffening. “Excuse me?”

“Are you testing me _, Supergirl_?”

Kara immediately began shaking her head in denial. “I’m not…I’m not”, but Coville stared at her knowingly, almost smiling. “I’m not!” she scoffed.

“I looked into your eyes from my seat on that plane. When you look into the eyes of god you do not forget”.

Kara went white at the confidence in his tone. Crazy or not, the man obviously knew who she was. Her glasses and a change of hairstyle were not enough to deter him like they did the rest of the world. He didn’t overlook the obvious because he didn’t want too and thus saw the similarities between Kara and Supergirl.

Realising that this entire confrontation was a bad idea – she should have left it with J’onn – she turned and began to walk away. “Wait d-don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. As Rao says let my god walk amongst you and shelter her”.

“I am not a god! Rao is”, Kara corrected him vehemently.

“Rao says even his gods can lose their way. If you’re lost, I can help you!” She stared at him in disbelief until he walked over to his cabinet and pulled out what looked like a Kryptonian crystal. Something that a human like himself should not have even heard of, let alone be clutching in his hands.

“Where did you get that?” Kara asked him in a sharp voice. If this fell into the wrong hands…

“I found every artefact of Krypton there was to find”, he held the thing with the relevance one would hold a new-born baby with. Speaking of, she was surprised and relieved he hadn't noticed her belly underneath the trench coat she was wearing. “This contains Rao’s words. This can remind you of what Rao says”.

Having grown tired of his preaching, Kara snatched the crystal away from him. “I know what Rao says! You are perverting it”. She slipped her glasses off and in an instant became Supergirl as she glared at the man in front of her. “You are going to stop having these meetings. You are going to stop telling people to put themselves in danger. If I am a god you need to do as I say. You need to trust me”.

“I trust you”, he insisted. She stared him down and when she sensed there was no deceit in his eyes, Kara nodded and walked out of the room, not noticing that there was anything amiss.

 

* * *

 

“You confronted Coville?! Kara”, Alex glared at her little sister after she had arrived at the DEO and passed on the information she’d managed to collect from her showdown with Coville.

“I didn’t think he would figure out my identity”, she defended.

J’onn stepped in before Alex could start on a lecture. “Well perhaps its best that you leave any and all things related to Coville and the cult to me from now on, Kara. Just to be safe”.

The blonde wanted to argue but seeing as Coville was really creepy with her earlier and she really didn’t want to put her unborn baby on his radar in anyway, she reluctantly nodded. “Fine but keep me up to date. I hope he actually follows through with what I told him”.

“You just let us worry about that”, Winn piped up from his desk. “I’ll have him tracked down in no time. And J’onn is perfectly capable of kicking his ass”.

“Besides, I know you have that story about the children’s hospital you need to focus on”, Alex added, reminding her of the official assignment she’d slacked on since her attention had been stolen by Coville and his crew. “You don’t need to overdo it by trying to be everywhere”.

“I’m fine, Alex. I’m pregnant, not a million years old”, she huffed. “I have an appointment with the Chief of National City’s Children’s Hospital in about forty minutes so I better go. You better not try to protect me by keeping me out of the loop”.

Her older sister smirked. “I would never!”

 

* * *

 

“What the hell happened?” Kara was freaking out. She’d switched her phone off during her interview with Doctor Clementine, who had then given her an hour long tour of the hospital with an agreement for her to come back and speak to some of the kids on Thursday. She had barely switched it back on when she saw she had five missed calls from Winn.

“Coville happened. He tried to endanger an entire stadium full of people, not to mention himself and his followers and the rest of National City. He had turned on some kind of Kryptonian device that would have levelled the entire place. Thankfully Alex managed to turn it off and J’onn stopped Coville. He’s now behind bars”.

“Damn it. I should have been there. I knew I’d given up Supergirl too soon”, she huffed, worried for her sister and J’onn.

“Kara, they’re both fine. J’onn took care of it and Alex can handle herself. You need to learn to let others take charge for a while”, her best friend shot back. “I assume you want to come down to the DEO and see for yourself?”

“Absolutely”.

She didn’t waste any time and flew to the DEO within seconds where Alex and J’onn were waiting inside and seemed perfectly okay. Alex rolled her eyes, knowing that Kara would freak once she had found out what had happened. “It’s done, Kara. You can rest easy”.

“But I can’t. That was Kryptonian technology, I should have been the one to deal with it!”

“What part of ‘you are pregnant’ do you not understand?!” Alex bellowed. “The only thing you can and should be dealing with right now is the baby you are growing, alright? How would you feel if you went up against some bomb, it blew up and you lost your baby? You would blame yourself for the rest of your life!”

Everyone went silent at Alex’s rant while tears filled Kara’s eyes. Her bottom lip began to tremble as hurt at her sister’s words sunk in. “Kara, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that”, Alex immediately realised that all she had accomplished with her tirade was make her sister feel worst. “I just meant that you have no reason to feel guilty. We did our jobs and we’re fine. You can trust us to deal with it, okay? If anything should ever happen then it won’t be on you. You have to know that, okay?”

“I get it. You’re right. I just…if anything happened to you, Alex. I would never be able to live with myself”.

Alex sighed and pulled her sister into a hug. “I’m the older sibling here, alright? I’m the one that does the protecting.  I’m also not the pregnant one. Deal with it, okay?”

“Alright. But I won’t stop trying to protect you either, pregnant or not”, Kara mumbled causing the older Danvers to roll her eyes and smile with fond exasperation.

 

* * *

 

The next day Kara made the decision to visit Coville in his new home at the National City prison. As expected, the man continued to give her the creeps throughout the entire conversation with his preaching and utter conviction that she was a lost god. She ended the visit when she realised that nothing that she could say would make Coville believe otherwise and she really didn't need him figuring out that she was pregnant. Rao knows how he would react to that. 

After getting some work done at Catco, Kara went home and changed before she headed out to Ruby’s school. Sam had called and invited her, Alex, Maggie and Lena to her daughter’s show and they had all agreed to support them both by coming. She, Lena and Alex arrived late while Maggie had turned down the offer to come. As they snuck into the row, Sam looked up and smiled in delighted surprise to see them. “You guys came?!”

“Well we told you we would. Ruby’s going to have a lot of cool Aunts”, Lena whispered as she took the seat beside Sam while Kara sat next to her and Alex was left seated on the end.

“Aw, look at that”, Alex pointed to the girls on the stage. “They’re not worshipping you, they’re inspired by you.  I can totally see your daughter up there doing the exact same thing someday. If you have a girl”.

Kara stared at the stage, admiring the cuteness of the little girls and felt her heart expand at the thought of her own being amongst them one day. She smiled at her sister widely. This was the sort of appreciation that she liked. Not the creepy, worshipping kind. She turned back to the stage and watched as the performance ended, clapping along with the rest of the audience.

The girl’s walked off the stage as the teacher stepped forwards in front of the microphone. “And now, please welcome Ruby Aries”.

The group perked up as Sam’s daughter appeared on the stage, looking pretty in a black dress with a red belt and a matching red headband holding her long hair back from her face. She smiled as her eyes landed on her mother and her friends in the audience. Sam immediately grabbed her phone from her bag and began to film Ruby as she started to sing ‘Pure Imagination’ from the Willy Wonka musical film.

As they all watched Ruby’s performance, Sam with an extremely proud smile on her face, Kara noticed from her corner of her eye that something was wrong with Alex. She was smiling but couldn’t quite hide the pain in her eyes or the way that her smile didn’t quite reach her cheeks. As soon as the performance began to end, Kara’s attention was immediately stolen when she saw Alex get up from her seat and walk out of the auditorium.

“I’ll be right back. I’m just going to check on Alex”, Kara whispered to Lena before following her older sister out of the room and into the hallway of the school where she found Alex standing with her back to the doorway. “Alex…Alex, what’s wrong? What is it?”

Her sister turned around and it was immediately noticeable that she had been crying. “Um…Maggie doesn’t want to have kids”, Alex admitted, confirming Kara’s suspicions that the talk of children the other evening had been upsetting to her sister.

“I thought that was something you guys decided together”, she pointed out, even though deep down she knew that her sister probably didn’t decide as much as go along with it for Maggie.

A minute later, Alex vocalised Kara’s very thought. “No, no…I agreed because it’s what she wanted”.

“Okay…okay, you guys will figure it out”, at least Kara hoped. She didn’t want to see her older sister lose the happiness she had found with Maggie. There was only room for one broken hearted Danvers woman after all.

Alex wasn’t convinced by her words. “Maggie’s not going to change her mind”. Maggie must have been unyielding when they had their discussion of kids. It hurt Kara that the woman didn’t love her sister enough to even try to compromise. “And the only way we’re going to work through it is if I let it go…and I’ve tried”. The heartbreak on her face told her that her sister had been dying on the inside, holding back her lifelong desire for kids for Maggie’s sake because she loved her. “Kara, I love her so much that it hurts. And I convinced myself that living a life with her, it was enough but watching Ruby…I want all the experiences that mom had with us. You know, I want to take my kid camping and I want to show her the constellations. I want to teach her how to read and how to throw a punch, and how to make cheesy Valentines, and I want to hold her when she has a bad dream, and I want to tell her that the world is a better place because she’s in it”.

Kara felt herself begin to choke up over her sister’s words because everything that she said…well Kara wanted that with her own baby. She wanted it so badly that she couldn’t help but understand exactly the kind of sacrifice that Alex had been making when she had agreed to a life without the child she wanted so badly for Maggie’s sake. “Yeah”, Kara nodded in complete understanding, her voice quiet.

“I want all of it”, Alex sobbed. “I want to be a mom.  What am I going to do?”

Kara pulled her sister into a hug and silently vowed that if Maggie wasn’t going to see how much her ultimatum was killing her sister, and wasn’t willing to make the kind of sacrifice Alex had tried making for her, then Kara would make sure that Alex knew she was going to be there for her if things with Maggie fell apart. She knew that a relationship wouldn’t work between the two if there was this huge divide on such an important issue. As she held her sister close, she couldn’t help but wonder what Mon-El would think, how he would feel if he was there…if he knew about their baby.


	5. Rolling With The Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! sorry for the slow update but hope you like this chapter. I deleted some that I'd previously written due to disliking the way things were going and I've been taking the time to rewrite and revamp things a little.

Chapter Five

During the course of the week following Alex’s tearful confession, not only did she and Maggie split up but Lena ended up kidnapped courtesy of Morgan Edge. After being saved by J’onn, Kara had wanted to go threaten the sleaze from ever touching her friend again but had been stopped in her tracks by Winn who had reminded her that her Supergirl costume was out of commission and she couldn’t go threaten him as Kara Danvers.

Thankfully Lena was alright but the same couldn’t have been said about Alex. While Kara was hanging out with Sam and Lena, her sister called her up, drunk and miserable. She tracked the wayward DEO agent down to the alien bar where she was drowning her sorrows in whiskey. “Remember when you said that if I lost Maggie I’d be at a bar drinking, that I would be broken? Score one for the girl from Krypton”.

Taking another sip of her drink, Kara thought her sister made a pitiful sight and knew that she couldn’t leave her there or let her return to forgetting her troubles through drinking like she had done in her wilder days.  An idea began to form as Kara gave her sister a loving kiss on her the head, her heart aching for her. She pulled away a moment later but only to grab her phone from her bag to begin to put her plan into motion. “J’onn, its Kara. You’re gonna have to get by at the DEO without Alex for a couple days”.

After hanging up, she turned to a confused Alex. “We’re going back to your place and we’re gonna pack a bag”.

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going home”. Kara thought a few days away from their lives in the city would do the both of them some good. After getting a bag packed for both herself and Alex, she managed to convince J’onn to lend her his ship slash car and drove the two of them down to their old childhood home in Midvale where Eliza waited them.

“This is pointless. I’m not going to magically forget about Maggie just because we’re not in the same city”, Alex grumbled on the drive there.

“No but you’re also not going to be drinking yourself to death in a bar”, Kara had quipped back.

As soon as they pulled up, Alex’s mother and Kara’s adoptive mother, rushed out to greet them. “My girls are home”. She hugged Alex, who still wore her shades covering her hungover eyes from the sun, and gave an unenthusiastic hug back before heading inside. Kara got out of the car with their bags and exchanged concerned looks with Eliza before the warm hearted woman pulled her into a hug.

“It’s so good to see you, sweetheart. You’re glowing”.

“Thanks. It’s getting pretty obvious now”, Kara pulled away from the older blonde. “I just hope that some time home with you will help Alex. I’m so worried about her”.

Eliza took Kara’s arm and led her into her old home, the first home she had ever had on Earth. “You just relax and let me take care of my eldest”.

However Alex kept to herself throughout the rest of the afternoon, only coming down briefly for dinner before disappearing back upstairs. In the evening, Kara sat outside on the back porch on the wicker loveseat, shortly joined by Eliza with two cups of hot chocolate. She had spent a lot of her first years on Earth outside on this porch staring at the stars and she hoped that the familiarity of it might bring her some sort of comfort. For herself or for the baby, Kara couldn’t say, especially since her mind was currently worrying about her older sister.

“You’re still out here?”

“Yep”.

“I made hot chocolate in case this turned into a teary all-nighter”, Eliza smiled as she sat down beside her on the bench.

Kara happily accepted the drink. “You don’t have to stay up”.

“Well…this is the mom fine print and something you’ll find out eventually. When your child is in agony you show up regardless the hour”.

Eliza’s words made her briefly imagine her son or daughter in fifteen years suffering their first heart ache and easily believed her. “I figured it would be nice to get her away from everything for a couple of days”.

“This is gonna be hard no matter what. But at least here she can lean into it. Better than to pretend she’s fine”.

Something about her mother’s words felt like they were more than just about Alex. A glance at Eliza, who was smiling at her knowingly, confirmed her suspicion. “You’re worried about me?”

“I’m more worried about you than Alex. You lost Mon-El and now you’re pregnant with his baby”, Eliza responded. “Losing Maggie is going to be excruciating but at least Alex doesn’t close herself off”.

Kara felt surprised by her assessment, having felt like she’d opened herself up more than enough since Mon-El. Sometimes it had been almost like re-opening a kryptonite caused wound. “I’m not doing that”.

“You have the most wide open heart in the world for other people but when you feel weak you punish yourself for it. You’ve had an awful year-“

“And I’m feeling a lot better”, Kara insisted. “I know that for most people this pregnancy would just be an awful reminder but I feel like it’s a gift. I didn’t feel that way at first, I admit, but this way I’ll always have a piece of Mon-El with me, no matter what.  I spent a lot of time, too much time, pushing Alex away when I first lost Mon-El because everything was still so painful and yes I felt like I had to be strong but I know now that having pain, having feelings doesn’t make me weak. I don’t want to ever pass that way of thinking on to my son or daughter”.

Seeing the vehemence in her daughter’s eyes, Eliza began to believe her. “Alright but promise me that you won’t ever let your duty as Supergirl, pull you away from your family, pull you away from _love_ ”.

“I promise”.

After they finished off their drinks and their talk, Kara headed back inside, made a fresh drink and upstairs to the old room she shared with Alex. Her sister was already inside and sat up on her bed, watching as Kara brought over the mug of coffee. “I brought you this. You could make it Irish”.

Alex didn’t move to take the drink. “What’s the point of all this?”

The blonde sat down on the edge of Alex’s bed with a sigh. “I don’t know. You need to sleep. You always slept well here”.

“So we’ll stay for like three days, mom will cook tons of food and I’ll gain like five pounds then walk back into an empty apartment”. Alex snubbed the coffee and continued to sip her whiskey, ignoring Kara’s concern with disdain. For a moment Kara remembered how she had treated Alex all those weeks ago and felt a flash of guilt if she had made her feel the way she was right now. Helpless…useless…

“Do you want to talk about it? It might help?”

Alex scoffed. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to shut down for what? Seven weeks after Mon-El goes and now you sit here and tell me to talk!”

Kara felt herself take a sharp intake of breath as though she had been sucker punched and from the pain that her sister’s words caused, she may as well have been. Mon-El hadn’t exactly ‘gone’. He’d been forced to leave or die but the way Alex said it implied that he had happily taken off and left her behind. Despite what she said to Eliza, though she had meant it, her heart felt like it was being cut open all over again.  She wanted to be there for Alex, regretted that she hadn’t let Alex be there for her but her sister had done the worst thing she could have done by throwing Mon-El right back in her face as if she wasn’t still suffering. As if she wasn’t physically carrying the reminder, no matter how positive she felt about it, around inside her all the time.

“It will get better”, she pushed aside her own hurt to try one last attempt at consoling Alex. The red head moved forwards with a condescending look on her face.

“Yeah?” her eyes flicked to Kara’s stomach for a moment. “Are you _better_?”

That was the last straw for Kara. Alex was a mean drunk and she knew if she tried to keep talking to her then it would only result in more painful words that Alex would eventually come to regret and that Kara would have a hard time forgiving her for. She left the cup of coffee on Alex’s bedside table and walked out of the room, deciding to sleep on the couch for the night. She wanted to be anywhere but in the same room as her sister. At least until she was sober enough to have a real conversation with.

* * *

 

The next morning found Kara outside on the front porch messing around with her old telescope. The door creaked open as she was peering through it at the sunrise. Kara looked up and saw Alex joining her outside. “You slept in”, she stated flatly, not really sure how she was supposed to talk to her after last night. She wasn’t even sure how much Alex remembered saying to her.

Alex, coffee in hand, took a few steps towards her. “Yeah”.

“Good. Remember this thing?”

“That was the best thank you gift we ever got for solving a case”.

A shadow crossed Kara’s face as she remembered what occurred during that time. “Kenny was one of the first people I lost on Earth. It doesn’t get any easier”.

“Kenny Lee. Keeper of secrets.  You know that was the first time I really understood what I had in you? What it could mean to have a sister. It’s crazy to think that I ever thought you were the worst thing that could happen to me, I will never get over it”.

Kara chuckled awkwardly in response to her sister’s confession. “Well I did hog the bathroom”, she joked, feeling relief as the tension that had filled the space between them earlier was beginning to dissipate, angry words forgotten.

“Yes”, Alex agreed causing the Kryptonian to scoff lightly. “After Kenny, that’s when I realised that you and I could get through anything together”.

Kara moved so that she was leaning against the fence of the porch, her back against the wood. “That was the first time I really became Kara Danvers”.

Alex briefly glanced down at her coffee without drinking it. “It was a good thing too, it got us through the next ten years”.

“I remember thinking I would never feel at home on Earth”, she confessed, looking up to the sky absentmindedly. She didn’t want her baby to feel like that. Earth would be its home, the only home it would ever know. For all intents and purposes, the baby would be a human in all but biology. “I still don’t in a way. But I feel at home with you”.

“Always”, the elder Danvers nodded. “It was a good idea, coming here.  I don’t think I could have slept in any other bed last night without Maggie”, Kara inwardly flinched at the memories of crying herself to sleep the first weeks she tried being in her bed without Mon-El, whose presence she had grown used to. It still wasn’t much easier. “I’m sorry I punished you for trying to help”.

“It was your turn”.

“I never wanted to hurt you”, Alex said vehemently.

Kara didn’t even hesitate. “I know”. She paused for a moment before adding, “And I am getting better. I know that you might think that the baby is a sad reminder of what I’ve lost but it’s not. I get to keep a piece of Mon-El with me, linking us together in the most permanent and binding way possible and I gain more family. I’m sorry if I haven’t shown it or if I’ve let you think that I’m sad all the time. Maybe if I had then you would have more hope”.

“You’re here. Right now that’s all I really need”.

Alex’s words ended the physical space between them as Kara felt herself drawn into her arms for a hug. “Good”, she said softly and pressed a kiss against her sister’s head, hoping that maybe, just maybe the both of them would be alright with the support of one another.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the weekend passed fairly peacefully and the two women relished being in Eliza’s company. They said their goodbyes with warm hugs and promises from Eliza to come visit as she wanted ‘constant updates’ on her impending grandchild. The ride back in J’onn’s car was much more fun with a sober Alex and the two of them blasting old songs from their high school years and singing along to them.

By the time they were back in the city, Alex seemed to be in much higher spirits. “Do you want to stay with me for a while?” Kara asked her as they drove past the ‘welcome to National City’ sign.

“No, I think I just need to go back and get it over with. Get the healing process started and all that”, Alex replied. “I promise I won’t touch the alcohol”.

With a bit of reluctance, Kara dropped her sister off at her apartment before returning J’onn’s car to him and heading back to her own apartment. As she entered, she felt herself flashing back to some of the moments she shared with Mon-El….watching old Audrey Hepburn movies, arguing about which Harry Potter house they belonged to, sex on the sofa, on the floor, in the bed, in the bathroom and one memorable time on the ceiling (thank you flight and super strength).  Even though she still missed Mon-El and would never stop missing him, it was beginning to get a little easier to think of him. She hoped that it would be the same for Alex.

 

* * *

 

 

“How was your weekend?” Lena asked as soon as Kara stepped off the elevator. “Is Alex doing better?”

“A little. I think the time away was good for her”, she told her boss and friend. The two women walked down the hall together towards the conference room for the morning meeting. “I guess she just needs time”.

The dark haired woman nodded as they entered into the room that was already filled up with reporters. “Understandably”.  The conversation was put to an end as James entered and began the meeting which was mostly about circulation figures, revenue and finding out what stories everyone had that could be the next front page.

After the meeting came to an end, everyone began filing out of the room when all of a sudden a massive tremor began to shake the build, throwing the unsuspected people onto the floor from the sudden force. “Is that an Earthquake?!” Lena yelled as she attempted to pull herself back onto her feet.

“I don’t think so, National City doesn’t really get Earthquakes?” Kara pointed out, leaning against the wall. Her superior strength (and ability to float) had prevented her from falling but she’d grabbed the wall so that no one would wonder why she was the only person that hadn’t been thrown.  Her cell began to ring Alex’s ringtone and she knelt down to grab it as the building continued to shake.

“Alex?”

“Kara, there’s a meta-human outside catco with the ability to create tremors. You need to get everyone out of there right now. J’onn is on his way and I’m leading a team. Don’t engage the meta-human, just focus on evacuation”, her sister commanded.  Kara hung up and immediately relayed the information onto James and Lena.

“Everybody get out of the building right now. Take the stairs if you have to, just get out”, James yelled. The employees all reacted predictably, running around in a panic without much regard for other people’s safety. One man accidentally elbowed Kara in the stomach, knocking her into the door.

“Kara, are you alright?” Lena glared daggers at the man’s back. “If I ever find out that man’s name, I will get you my lawyer and-“

“Lena, I’m fine”, Kara put a hand on her friend’s shoulder, straightening up. A knock like that might have hurt a human pregnant woman but she was able to take it. Just in case she would have Alex and Winn check her over with the ultrasound back at the DEO. “Let’s just get everyone and ourselves out of here before the meta-human sends the entire building down”.

The three of them eventually managed to get down the packed staircase (since the elevators weren’t working or no longer safe to operate) but a large chunk of debris began to fall on them and everyone else that were trying to get out.  For a moment Kara thought she might have to expose herself to keep her friends from being crushed but to her relief, she saw J’onn in her Supergirl form rush in front of them and hold the debris from falling.

“Get out now”, he barked in her voice, which would never not be weird for Kara, and there was zero hesitation as everyone ran towards the ground floor emergency exit. As she got onto the street, Kara’s eyes locked onto the meta-human, a teenage male that was directing his powers at Catco. He was surrounded by the police (thankfully sans Maggie) and the DEO officers with Alex directly in front, holding a tranquiliser gun.

“Put your hands up and we won’t have to hurt you”.

“No. I’m done with people telling me what to do!”

“Do you really want to destroy the building and risk hurting hundreds of civilians?” Alex appealed to him. “Why are you even doing this, kid?”

“Because my mom thinks her job is more important than her family. All she thinks about is her next story and it’s because of her that our dad walked out. She ruined everything!”

Alex stared at the kid incredulously. “You really want to hurt people because your mom doesn’t make time for you?”

“If she wants a story then I’m going to be the story! And she can find a new job while she’s at it”, he screamed and began to strengthen the tremors just as J’onn flew over, meta-cuffs in hand, and quickly cuffed the kid’s hands together. The tremors stopped and thankfully the building stopped falling apart. Part of the stairwell was destroyed but it was nothing that Catco couldn’t afford to get repaired.

She watched as her sister loaded the teenager into the back of the black van and the DEO team drove off, probably to lock him up in the vaults until the metahuman police came to pick him up. Kara quickly checked on her friends (both fine, though Lena seemed irritated with James over something) before she flew down to the DEO. Even though she felt okay and didn’t think a blow to the stomach from one human guy would do anything to her, she still wanted to make sure that everything was fine with the baby.

“Kara, are you alright?” Alex approached her as soon as she spotted her standing next to Winn at the console, looking very dishevelled with her blazer ripped, her blouse untucked from her skirt and covered in debris from head to toe.

“I’m fine. I just wanted to see if you had time to give me a quick ultrasound”.

Her sister’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Sure, I guess. Are you positive you’re okay?”

“I got knocked about by some people on the way out of Catco. Some guy elbowed me in the stomach. I think its fine but I just want to make sure”.

“Yeah of course, come on, nothing’s more important than my little niece or nephew”, Alex agreed, probably sensing the slight anxiety in Kara’s eyes. She knew logically that she was made of steel and her kid was fine but the mother in Kara still made her worry slightly that there was a chance that she was wrong. It wouldn’t hurt to check, regardless anyway, she thought.

“Okay lay down for me”, Alex instructed, wheeling over the ultrasound machine that had been left in the med-bay, probably in case Kara had an emergency and turning on the red sun lamp. “Take your skirt off, we’re going to do it the same as last time”.

“Alex? How come you don’t just use the gel on my stomach? That’s got to be easier” and less invasive, Kara privately thought.

“Because I don’t think it would work on you…or maybe it would if we used the red sun lamp. There’s probably no reason it shouldn’t work with that. I guess I was just thinking that we’d get a better look with the probe”, Alex mused before heading over to one of the fridges and grabbing the gel. “Sorry this is going to be cold since it’s been kept in the fridge so it might be a little uncomfortable at first. Pull up your shirt for me”.

Kara did as instructed as Alex set up the ultrasound machine before rubbing the gel onto her bare bump. She shivered – her sister wasn’t lying, that was cold – and watched as Alex grabbed the wand and began to move it over her belly. Kara’s eyes flickered towards the monitor where a fuzzy image was on display and her eyes narrowed in on what she thought must be the baby, though it looked a little weird to her.

“Huh”, Alex said and moved the wand about slightly. Suddenly a quiet beat began to fill the room and Alex’s eyes began to glaze with tears. “Oh look, that’s the heartb-“

Kara’s brows furrowed in concern at her sister. “Alex?”   

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how I missed that when we did your first ultrasound”, Alex choked out a laugh, her eyes fixated on the screen. “Looks like it’s not just one heartbeat. It’s two. And look there! You’re not having a two headed baby, Kara”, she pointed to the screen. “The second baby is hiding slightly behind its sibling. That’s probably why I didn’t catch it the first time especially since it was a little early to get a heartbeat that would have told me more”.

The blonde superheroine gaped at the screen with a pale face. Twins…that was two babies…that was double the amount of babies she was expecting to have. “Rao, I don’t know if I can do twins”, Kara felt herself begin to panic. “Two kids, two kids at once. Two needy, crying babies and one Kara!”

Alex snorted “Kara, calm down. You know you have me, you have mom, you have your friends and we’re all gonna be here for you. I will sleep over as often as you need me to, alright?”

“The babies might both have superpowers the moment they’re born”, she pointed out, biting her lip so hard that if she was human it would have probably bled.

“Oh”.

“Oh is right”.

“I’ll see if I can get Winn to make a red sunlight bracelet…or something”.

 

* * *

 

Later that same evening, Kara lay on her sofa with a picture of her sonogram that Alex had printed out for her (and a copy for herself and Eliza). She stared at it, still not really believing that she was growing two people inside of her. All her life Alex had been the one fixated with having kids and a family while Kara had been focused on saving world anyway she knew how. Maybe it came from their different backgrounds. She didn’t want her second world to end like her first one did and Alex had the normal, no planet exploding upbringing. Maybe if things had been normal on Krypton then Kara would have thought about it more but as things were, it had just never really occurred to her that she would have kids of her own someday. She wasn’t against having them, per say, but it wasn’t really a priority or a thought that had actively crossed her mind.

She looked at the sonogram and her thoughts turned to Mon-El. She wondered if either of them would look like him, if one or both were boys or if she would have a girl like in her hallucination. Kara didn’t really care as long as they were healthy but she wouldn’t mind having a girl that took after Mon-El and a boy that took after her or vice versa. Or maybe two girls or two boys. She wondered what Mon-El would have preferred. She wished she could ask him but it’s not like she could send up a transmission into space.

As she lay there, Kara found herself drifting off as she was prone to do since becoming pregnant. Apparently pregnant Kryptonians liked their sleep. The real world faded away and she once again found herself standing in the same open meadow she’d previously found herself in with Mon-El waiting for her with a smile. “I miss you”, he told her before kissing her and making her forget all about her questions, the things she wanted to say to him but never got chance to. They were all forgotten as she lost herself in his embrace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ignore my note about the ultrasound being wrong. It wasn't.


	6. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates, hope you enjoy this chapter regardless.

Chapter Six

“Pregnancy sucks”, Kara groaned as she threw up for the third time that morning in the women’s toilets at Catco. Lena had followed her in after she had rushed off mid-briefing when her breakfast bagel had threatened to remerge in front of Snapper and everybody. “I don’t recommend it”.

“I’m sorry, Kara. Isn’t there anything I can get you? Maybe some ginger biscuits? That’s supposed to be good for nausea I hear”.

“I’m good. I’ve taken to carrying crackers and a bottle of water in my handbag wherever I go these days”, the blonde sighed before pulling said items from her handbag. She had a quick nibble of a cracker before washing it down with her water and putting the items back in her bag. “See, I’m all better now. Hopefully”.

After getting her assignment from Snapper – she was going to cover a charity gala that evening thrown by Wayne Industries at the National City Plaza – Kara grabbed her cell and rung up Alex. Ever thought her sister was doing a lot better since the break-up, she still liked to check in and make sure that Alex wasn’t backsliding. “Hi Alex, how are you feeling?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one to ask you that Superpreggo?” Alex retorted dryly.

“Hey! I’m only seventeen weeks and two days along, I am NOT super preggo and is it so wrong that a girl wants to make sure her big sister is alright?”

“You’re having twins. You ARE super preggo, even if you won’t admit it. And when said sister calls almost four times a day even though we see each other almost every day then it becomes concerning. Especially since I should be the one babying you, not the other way around. Maggie and I broke up, it hurt but I’m dealing. You do not need to fuss over me like a mother hen”.

“Fine. So what’s up at the DEO?” Kara questioned. Since being forced onto early maternity leave, all of her friends refused to give her updates on anything that was going on down there. Besides from the Earthquake Meta, she had not seen or heard anything about any non-human threats and she was beginning to get a little restless. It didn’t help that all the stories assigned to her where really easy (and safe) fluff pieces. The Wayne Industries gala was more action than she’d seen in a while. The last few articles had been on kitten adoptions and interviewing politicians.

“Kara, you know that I’m not going to tell you anything. You just focus on incubating my niece and nephew or nieces or nephews for the next however many months and relax. We’ve got everything covered down here and you know it. Besides if we didn’t, Clark is just a phone call away”.

After a few more attempts at tricking information from Alex and failing, Kara hung up and went to meet up with Lena who had kindly arranged to help her shop for an appropriate dress for the gala that evening. In the end she ended up picking a blackberry coloured full length gown with a lace bodice and capped sleeves and a plunging neckline that made the most of her blossoming chest. It was demure with a touch of sexy and she wondered who she was trying to impress. It wasn’t like she had anyone to show it off to but Lena had insisted.

In the evening, as she waited for her car to arrive to take her to the event, once she was fully dressed with her blonde hair pinned into a chignon and her make up perfect, Lena fussed over her like a proud mother at prom, along with Alex and Sam who had both turned up with bottles of wine to help out. The women had insisted on taking photo after photo of Kara, making her pose in several different ways and it was beginning to make her feel slightly ridiculous.

“I appreciate the help but you really didn’t need to do this”.

Alex, Lena and Sam exchanged looks that Kara couldn’t understand. “We did this because YOU needed it. When was the last time you actually did something for yourself? Something to make you feel good, not because it was necessary or because you wanted to do something for someone else?” Lena stared at her pointedly.

“You’re pregnant, Kara and you’re going to keep getting bigger and you will inevitably feel very unattractive even though you could never be unattractive. We’re taking photos of you dolled up tonight so that we can remind you when you get to that point of how stunning and glowing you are”, Alex added as Sam nodded in agreement.

“Take it from me. I’ve been there and by the end, I felt like a whale and a really gross whale too. It didn’t matter what was true or not. I thought that this was a really great idea of Lena’s”.

At their words, tears welled up in Kara’s eyes and she wasn’t sure if it was hormones or if this was something she would genuinely start blubbering over. “You guys…that is so sweet”.

“You might not have Mon-El here to give you those reassurances but you have us”, Alex hugged her briefly before glaring at her. “And you better stop getting emotional before you ruin your make up”.

Before Kara could respond, or continue crying, a text beeped on her cell. “That’s my car. I better go. Thank you, you three are the best girlfriends ever”.

“Have fun and try and get a juicy exclusive with Bruce himself. That would be great for Catco”, Lena called out after her. Kara waved her off, promising that she would get the hot scoop from Bruce Wayne and his cohorts. The limo ride was relaxing and felt quite long considering that she was used to zipping around the city with her speed or flight. Eventually the car pulled up outside of the glitzy hotel where guests were milling in at the front entrance.

Kara waited in line until finally she was in front of the security guard that held a tablet containing the list of all expected and invited guests. “Hello, my name is Kara Danvers. I’m with Catco magazine”, she flashed the man her ID that she’d slipped into the small clutch bag that was in a colour identical to her dress.  Lena had insisted on the full works for tonight.

The guard looked at his tablet before nodding. “Alright, go on through. Have a nice time, Miss Danvers”.

Kara smiled before walking past “Thank you, I will”. With her recorder at the ready in her bag, she was fully prepared to grab quotes from all the big names that were going to be there that evening. Plus she didn’t really have room for a notepad and pen in her clutch bag, no matter how pretty it was.

She walked through the foyer and entered into a large ballroom that was elegantly decorated and filled with hundreds of round tables spread out around a large dance floor with a band playing on a stage. Kara managed to get a few brief interviews and quotes with a couple of CEOs she recognised in addition to some famous actors and a singer before her eyes fell onto a familiar face. 

“Lois, you’re covering tonight too?” Kara approached her cousin’s partner, co-reporter and fiancé, who was looking at a group of middle aged white men with frustration. The frown melted away into a grin when she caught sight of Kara heading her way.

“Only because there was nothing more exciting in Metropolis”, the brunette quipped back, looking lovely in an off the shoulders silver gown. The two embraced before moving their conversation off towards one of the large gold decorated walls. The National City Plaza really was the definition of luxury. “How are you doing anyway? I assume you’re writing a piece for Catco though I’m still baffled why you would waste your time with anything related to Cat Grant”, Lois rolled her eyes as she mentioned her former rival.

“Because she’s a great boss and mentor”, Kara replied, completely used to both Cat and Lois’s disdain of each other. “And yes I’m here tonight since it’s a safe thing for me to write about.  Being pregnant apparently means I can only do assignments that don’t involve chasing after criminals or dangerous corrupt officials”.

The other reporter snorted. “As if you’re not made of the same stuff as Superman”. Kara felt herself nod vigorously and felt genuinely happy to have run into Lois. “Well at least you look gorgeous tonight. You’ve really got that glowing thing down”.

Kara opened her mouth to return the compliment when a voice interrupted their conversation, a shadow falling over Lois as someone approached from behind Kara. “Lois Lane as I live and breathe. I was hoping you would be here tonight”. The voice was deep and husky. It almost sent a shiver down her spine.

“Bruce, it’s good to see you too. As dapper as ever I see”, Kara turned at Lois’s comment to see a very handsome slightly older man in an impeccable designer tux that she immediately recognised as Bruce Wayne himself. A tremor of excitement ran through her as she hoped she’d be able to wrangle an interview from the man. The press usually had a notoriously hard time getting anything from him unless it was a press release or a statement through his publicist or even his butler.

“Can I introduce my good friend and Clark’s cousin, Kara?” Lois stood beside her with a supportive hand on her shoulder. The man’s dark gaze turned onto her and he looked at her stoically, almost as though he knew every secret she had ever kept. It was eerie to say the least.

“Mister Wayne it’s an honour to meet you”, Kara held out a hand and plastered on her trademark beam. “I’m Kara Danvers, like Lois said I’m Clark’s cousin but I’m also a reporter for Catco magazine”.

Bruce took her hand and give it a firm shake. An abnormally hard shake that she would not have expected from a normal human male. “I know who you are Miss Danvers. I was hoping that Mr Olsen would send you tonight. I admire your work”.

Something about his words gave her the impression that he wasn’t just referring to her writing. Kara stared at him suspiciously, her blue gaze meeting his. He didn’t flinch but neither did she. Coolly, she asked him “Anything in particular?”

“Supergirl”, he smirked. “You’re articles on her saves. They’re very in depth. I’m surprised that she was willing to give you so much detail. Even Superman doesn’t do that and he loves playing favourites with Miss Lane”.

“Oh cut the crap”, Lois huffed, having grown tired of listening to the back and forth. “Just admit you know her identity,” she added that in a low whisper that only the two with her would hear, thankfully. “And Kara, meet the bat from Gotham. Don’t let him intimidate you, he’s a big softie really”.

Bruce glared at her Lois, while Kara relaxed slightly though the tension remained. “I assume you can keep a secret?” he growled at the blonde. She raised a brow back at him.

“Back at you, Mr Wayne”.

“Please call me Bruce”.

“Alright…Bruce. Can I have an interview? My boss is going to see pictures of me talking to you tonight and wonder where the exclusive is”, Kara smirked, nodding to someone taking photos a few feet away.

“Alright but make it quick. I have to talk to everyone at this gala after all and there’s only about two hundred guests”.

 

* * *

 

 

Kara headed home at about midnight with sore ankles and feeling completely exhausted though happy to have got her interview with Bruce Wayne and some other quotes from other important guests. She’d hugged goodbye to Lois, promising to call and make plans to have dinner with her and Clark that weekend and got into the car that was waiting for her outside. Once she was back in her apartment, she slung off her heels, got out of her dress and into her comfy maternity pyjamas and slipped into bed, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Her alarm went off at seven, waking her up for work. Kara dragged herself out of bed, making herself a quick breakfast of cereal and orange juice before getting dressed. Today she wore a navy pencil dress with ballet flats (they were more comfy for her swollen feet than court heels) and held her blonde hair back in a neat bun. She grabbed her jacket and her bag before heading off to Catco.

“So I hear someone had fun last night”, Lena smirked as Kara walked to her desk, her boss and friend beside her. “I saw those pictures of you talking to Bruce. They hit the internet pretty quickly. Some sites are claiming that you’re having his love child”.

Kara gaped at her. “Please tell me you are kidding”.

“I wish I was. You know what those trashy tabloids are like but I bet Mr Wayne will have it under control in no time. This isn’t the first time this has happened to him after all”, her friend assured her. “So did you manage to get Catco an exclusive?”

“I did and I’ll be typing it up now along with the story and the other quotes. I’ll send them all over to James. I’m sure he’ll let you have a look if you ask nicely”, Kara said to her with a pointed look and a smirk that made Lena blush slightly.

“I should hope so since I’m his boss. Now what are your lunch plans?” Kara allowed for the change of topic but there was no way she wasn’t going to be grilling her later. A good reporter followed a lead when she had one and she wanted nothing more than for her two friends to be happy together if that’s what they both wanted. Plus match making was fun.

Later that afternoon she ended up being forced to watch a battle between J’onn – disguised as Supergirl – and an escapee from the Phantom Zone – on TV from the comfort of her own home. It still didn’t sit right with her that she had to stay away and not help. It just wasn’t her at all. A sudden kick jolted her from her brooding and she stared down at her stomach in surprise. She had been feeling movement on and off for the last few weeks but this was the first time she’d felt a proper kick.

Kara’s eyes glistened as the reminder of why exactly she was doing this, not helping and letting J’onn get hurt on her behalf. She was pregnant…she was having a baby, a life that was part her and part Mon-El. For some reason it hadn’t really sunk in yet…until now. She rubbed her stomach reverently and made a silent promise to herself that she would be a good mother. She’d do whatever it took to keep the world safe for her kids and her kids safe from the parts of the world that would hurt them.  They were the only thing she had left of Mon-El and the only thing that were keeping her balanced. If she didn’t have them, she was sure that it would only have been too easy to lose herself completely in Supergirl.

 

* * *

 

 

Two weeks passed and Kara thought she was finally getting used to not running out at every sign of trouble to be Supergirl. She still felt guilty that J’onn and the others at the DEO plus her cousin were having to pick up the slack in her absence but a part of her was also kind of enjoying the break. It was nice to be able to focus on her career at Catco and not have the weight of the world weighing her down every single day. At least for now. Once she was back to normal then she would be saving the world and protecting National City once more.

Her stomach had grown rapidly – which she knew was due to the fact she was carrying twins as well as being Kryptonian – and Kara was mad (with who she didn’t know) over the fact that she was starting to find it hard to bend down or paint her toenails. Alex thought it was hysterical as they ate lunch at their favourite café. “You know it’s nice to actually see you looking less than super perfect for once”, her sister quipped as she sipped her coffee, something else that Kara missed greatly.

Kara was hurt by the comment. “You think I’m ugly?”

Alex froze with her sandwich just above her mouth. She lowered it slowly with her eyes wide. “No, that is not what I said. At all. You’re still gorgeous. It’s maddening really. I was just joking, you know, since you always rub it in what an amazing super metabolism you have and you don’t even have to work for your figure. I, however, have to spend most of my week training and working out to keep looking this good”, she gestured to her body before biting into her sandwich.

“I feel like a whale already and I’m not even six months pregnant”, the blonde pouted and took a sip of her water. “Lena has had to take me shopping for more maternity clothes and larger shoes since my feet are so swollen I look like big foot”.

Alex snorted which caused Kara’s scowl to deepen. “It’s not funny! And I always need to pee all the time which is made worst by the fact these kids love kicking my insides and they have that super strength down alright. I’m concerned what would happen if Lois ever got pregnant”.

“I think she’s slightly safer considering human birth control works on her”, Alex smirked. “I guess this means you’re going to have to remain celibate until the next time you want another kid”.

Kara’s eyes almost bulged out of her face. “Alex!”

“Sorry, I’m not responsible for your biology but by all means you can risk it if you want”, she shrugged. “But I’m more than happy to babysit all these kids you’re gonna have”.

“I’m not having a thousand kids. Besides, these two will be all I ever want or need. No way would I be able to put myself through this again, not when the only person I want…the only person I want is somewhere in the universe and I’ll never see him again”, Kara’s eyes grew distant as her mind drifted to Mon-El. Alex opened her mouth to say something, probably to apologise for bringing the subject up, when her emergency pager beeped.

“Sorry but I’ve got to run. Apparently something’s cropped up at the DEO”.

“I’m coming with you”, Kara hauled herself up from her seat with a stubborn set on her face. She wasn’t about to be left alone in the café to dwell over Mon-El and it wasn’t as if the DEO itself was dangerous.

“Kara, no. That isn’t a good idea. Besides, you can’t go in there as Supergirl or you’ll out your pregnancy. J’onn has been doing a decent job covering for you but if you walk in there then all that will have been for nothing”.

Tears began to fill her eyes and Kara wanted to curse herself for being so hormonal. Logically she knew Alex was right but she was still irrationally upset at being abandoned. “I just don’t want to be alone. And I miss Winn. I miss the DEO.  And I want Mon-El but he’s gone and he’s never coming back”, Kara began to sob as Alex froze with her eyebrows flying up to her hairline.

“You’re feeling all of this because I have to go?”

“No! You brought Mon-El up and now you’re leaving and everyone leaves”, she cried louder causing a few other patrons to turn and stare at them curiously.

Alex swore before throwing some money down on the table, grabbing Kara and dragging her out of the café. “Fine, you can come with me and I’ll smuggle you in but you better have a damn good cover story ready if anyone asks”.

Kara’s cries gradually dissipated as she looked up at her sister. “Really?”

“Don’t make me regret this, alright?!”

 

* * *

 

Alex managed to slip Kara into the DEO under the guise that she was doing an exclusive interview with J’onn about the work they were doing with the alien and meta-human teams in NCPD. Winn saw them coming and almost fell out of his spinning chair in his haste to get up, panic plastered over his features for some reason unbeknownst to either of the Danvers women. “Alex....and Kara, it is SO great to see you. What a WONDERFUL surprise!” he practically shouted.

“What the hell is up with you?” Alex eyed her friend suspiciously as Kara looked at him with utter bafflement. Before he could answer the question, J’onn quickly made his way over with a wide smile on his face that seemed kind of fake to his second in command.

“Kara, it’s good to see you. How about we go up to my office while Winn fills Alex in?”

“Err…okay but can’t I know what’s going on?”

“Not right now, it’ll be better to wait for when we have more information”, J’onn put a hand on Kara’s shoulder to gently guide her away from her sister and friend and up towards his office.

She immediately felt like a four year old that needed sheltering and Kara didn’t like it at all. “You’re being weird. I don’t like it”, she glared at the Martian even as she followed him up to his office. “And I don’t need to be babied. I’m pregnant, not fragile and I’m still stronger than you”.

J’onn sighed as he directed her to a seat in front of his desk. “No one is saying you are weak in any way. We just want to make sure we have all the facts before we let you in on what we know”.

Kara stared at him, confused. “Why just me?”

“Because it’s something that might personally affect you and we’d rather not worry you unnecessarily until we know for sure what’s going on”.

“And being really vague like that isn’t worrying me?” she snapped back, her hand subconsciously flying to her swollen belly protectively.

“Please, just go home and rest. I promise you that we’ll tell you when we know everything”, J’onn pleaded with her. She wanted to argue and resist, the stubborn part of her thinking that she was more than entitled to know what was going on, especially if it affected her but the pregnant side of her was tired. And maybe it was for the best that she didn’t know what was going on until all the facts were there.  Also judging from the steely gaze in J’onn’s eyes, Kara knew she wasn’t going to be getting any information before he was ready for her to receive it. Besides she trusted J’onn and his judgement and knew he wouldn’t keep anything from her to be cruel.

“Alright. I’ll go home but please let me know as soon as you can. I don’t like being kept in the dark”, Kara said after a moment of silence. The relief on her mentor’s face was palatable.

“Thank you. I know this is hard but trust me I don’t say this without good reason”.

She softened at his words, knowing that he was just being honest with her. “Of course, I know that. Thank you for at least telling me that whatever’s going on affects me and not just keeping a secret. When the time’s right, I know you’ll let me know”.

“I will”.

Kara walked out of his office to see Alex was no longer beside Winn. Winn was still at his desk and he stared at her with concern, concern that made the knot in her stomach tighten a little more. She didn’t like having to wait to be told something especially if it affected her but she swore to herself that whatever it was, she could take it. She reluctantly flew home and spent the rest of the day distracting herself with movie-musicals and fulfilling her weird cravings.

* * *

 

 

Meanwhile, as Kara had disappeared into J’onn’s office, Alex remained by Winn’s desk. “Okay spit it out. What’s going on?” Winn looked over to double check that Kara was really nowhere in sight before he would answer her question.

“I don’t know how to tell you this but…we’ve sorted of had a pretty busy day here at the DEO without you around. We got an alert about alien tech being discovered underground. When J’onn went down, he found a really cool ship, like the sort from Star Trek”, Alex saw the excitement sparkling in the guy’s eyes and knew she was about to lose him. “

“Winn, just get on with it. What does this have to do with Kara?”

The other Agent visibly deflated and took a breath before continuing. “The thing is that the ship wasn’t empty. J’onn came across a man holding a gun and when he got a good look at him he realised that it was Mon-El”.

The colour drained from Alex’s face. “What do you mean? That’s not possible. Mon-El would die if he ever returned here”.

“Nope. Apparently this Mon-El is from the future and had some sort of cure to make him immune to the lead in the air, at least that’s what he told J’onn. Then he collapsed from apparently having been in some kind of suspended animation for a time. He’s in the med-bay right now if you want to see for yourself”.

Alex didn’t even bother giving him a verbal response before she was off towards the direction of the med-bay. She walked in and found the one closest to the door occupied. Her eyes took in the older, bearded but recognisable figure of Mon-El and wondered how the hell they were going to break this to Kara.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment or a kudos x
> 
> P.S Sorry for the awkward science with the ultrasound. It's been pointed out that it's wrong and all I can say is that the DEO have different and more advanced tech (due to working with non-humans) and thus it works differently than an ultrasound in a typical hospital. It's not that unbelievable considering it's a fictional TV show with superheros and aliens among other things.


End file.
